November 25, 2017
Det. Richard "Dick" D'Obvious
Case File: How Much Money Can One Save on Black Friday Sales?
It's the ones you couldn't save along the way, the wayward girls who never had a chance; faces on a milk carton, then seeing their bloated bodies in the sun, behind a Denny's dumpster. Those are which haunt this detective, every single day, well, that...and a scorching case of herpes. It's why I can't drink milk anymore, or have the desire to lay with hookers. Eventually, they all end up following you...in some way or fashion.
A concerned citizen wrote in:
"Are Black Friday Sales worth it? How much money can I save?"
Well, buster, think of it this way: How can you save money by spending it in the first place?
Det. Richard D'Obvious
Red Island Investigations Unit