ON HER KNEES: Married Madison County Teacher, Lyndsey Sherrod Bates, 22, Arrested For Sex Acts

Original story at DailyStar

Lyndsey Sherrod Bates, 22, was charged on Friday afternoon with a count of having sex with a student younger than 19, according to police records.

The Alabama educator was also charged with three counts of distributing obscene material to a student and one count of having sexual contact with a student.

According to local media, Bates is the daughter-in-law of Stacy Bates – the chief deputy of Madison County’s sheriff’s office.

It was later stated that Stacy had no role in the investigation that led to Bates's arrest.

Madison County Schools Superintendent Matt Massey told the media that Bates began teaching at Madison County High School at the beginning of the 2018/19 school year.

She has since resigned her position.

It now begs the question: Why, on paper, would such a woman throw her career and marriage away for some teen peen?


I am confused.

Either Lynds forgot to change her status or let that important notification slip on purpose.

It is confusing because of the fact that our gurl had just married her husband last year; May 10th, 2018 to be exact.

Married just four months before she started teaching at her Madison County school; bangs a student before her first year is in the books.

That's impressive, for a 22-year-old rookie teacher.

I mean, I have busy years...but holy shit, that is a lot to take-in (that's what she said).

Speaking of which, can we not go a fucking, goddamn week without another female teacher preforming mouth-to-penis on one of her students?

I would like to take a day off at some point!

Alas, I knew this was coming; we are into the 'busy season' when it comes to female teachers sliding their sliz on their student's: Spring cleaning. Horny female teachers are trying to get their 'gutters' cleaned out before the semester is over.

Going through our gurl's facebook page was what I would expect from a young, religious woman who is married (soon to be divorced, presumably): Nothing but picture after picture of her and her husband.


In fact, it looks like Lyndsey and her hubby have been an item since 2015; High school sweethearts. Very moving, indeed.

It looks like she had a boyfriend right before she met her future husband, as you will see in the 'presentation' down below, later.

What an awkward day yesterday (the day our gurl was charged) would have been: Lyndsey married into a cop family; her husband's father is the chief deputy of Madison County's sheriff's office; her husband just joined the force.

Neither the father or the husband could put handcuffs on our gurl, due to conflict of interest.

However, it is in my opinion, that the husband should've been doing some light handcuffing in the bedroom. It seems our gurl here got bored/needed an alpha by proxy, who could tame that unhinged (possibly repressed) pussy.

Today, it's different with these chicks. If you've already been married for less than a year, you need to start 'spicing things up'. The 7-year itch is now the 7-month itch. These go-gurls move fast on your ass; onto the cocks of younger men, apparently.

Being around the same dude, since 2015, while entering her sexual prime must have been making Lyndsey's 'glory hole' quake with frustration. Women are also more likely to cheat/get hysterically horny when they have secured a beta for provisioning (seek Alpha to secure the other side of their hypergamous instinct).

It doesn't matter how religious a girl is, or how married she is; all women are the same.

The Report Card

Methodology: The details are few. All we know is that sometime between late last year and now our gurl played 'adulterous skank' with her student. Who, by the way, according to the brief is somewhere under the age of 19.

Three counts of distributing obscene material to a minor means that our gurl, at some point, sent some nudies to the victim, sorry, 'love interest'.

One count of sexual contact means either sucky or fucky.

Lindsey did this all before her first school year, as a teacher, was up. These young female teachers sure don't like to waste time making a name for themselves.

Bravo, you go-gurl.


Integrity: Lyndsey checks all the right boxes when it comes to the prototypical FTSS

  • Religious (check)

  • Married to a beta (check)

  • Married young (check)

  • Young [Between 22-35] (check)

  • Horny (double check)

Screwing a minor when you just got married to a cop, whose father is the chief deputy; priceless.


Presentation/looks: Our gurl presents herself as the typical 'girl next door'. Deep behind the doors of Lyndsey's mind and through the pure veneer of her vagina, we can see that a quivering urge had been forming.

I don't know if you can see it, but her mugshot tells the story: Our gurl wanted to have a little 'bad' in her life. That looks says, "Ya....I fucked him...what do you think about that?"

It's crazy to think that not even a year ago, Lindsey smiled while looking deep into her husband's eyes while they took a bazillion engagement photos.

Simply stunning how fast 'things change' in no less than a year with some 'perfect couples'.

Our gurl isn't hot, nor is she ugly. She's just slightly below average. If she didn't look like a toothpick and had a little more meat to put around your bone..er, she'd be up there.

First boyfriend dodged a bullet...


Personal Notes: She went down on her knees at least three times: Once for God, her student and the police.

Overall Grade


#Satire #Humor #TeachersWorthyofaD #MeToo #ToxicFemininity


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