C|Suite Letters: Glory Days

C|Suite is a men's magazine founded by Frank Cervi. It combines urban/office life-style articles with soft-core pornographic pictorials. In recent years, C-Suite introduced the 'letters' column in which readers send in borderline ridiculous sexcapades, resulting often in explicit and unnecessary detail.

Dear C|Suite,

Being a woman throughout this whole Chinese virus situation has been tough; I hadn’t been able to have sex with random strangers during quarantine. At last, though, that issue had been put to bed and laid to rest thanks to our heroes in the medical profession, and in our glorious government.

I finally got my pussy fucked by a 'rando' for the first time since this whole thing started after using one of those new telehealth services. A service that is quickly becoming the next multi-billion dollar industry.

Being a frustrated mess I screen-timed with a health professional one night. It was a male doctor on the other end. I had specifically asked for a female, but apparently there are very few female doctors.

Such a sexist industry, I thought.

But later the doctor informed me, very bluntly, that the real reason why there are very few female doctors is because it is a very demanding field, and that men are up to that task—the women usually drop out and have kids, a family. Even though this was the truth, I still quietly called him and his industry sexist, misogynistic pigs.

Anyways, being a strong, powerful, brave and independent woman I had to ask permission from a male doctor. I needed to get clarification if there was any way possible I could still have sex with random men like I did before all of this, without breaking any by-laws, social distancing rules, etc.

He informed me that just recently our state had put out a recommendation that anyone seeking to have promiscuous sex should consider using what are called “glory holes”.

Our government, being so amazing and smart, suggested that with this new system I could still get my pussy fucked-out by a rando while also having a barrier between me to protect it from those pesky A-symptomatic virus particles from invading my body. So, I could be protected from the virus penetrating through my eyes, mouth and other entry points; I can still allow a man’s penis to invade my many orifices’.

This is AMAZING, I thought. What a great idea!

To find these “glory holes” I needed to go to the nearest subway system and find a government sanctioned bathroom for such activity to take place. However, the only thing was that I had to have a doctor and a state official present in the bathroom to ensure all the rules were being followed. This was not problem thanks of course to smartphones, tablets and Zoom meetings!

The doctor said that when I was ready to have sex with some random man in the subway system to have me call and face-time him. It didn’t matter what time of day or night, he insisted that it wasn’t a problem. He said that he and a state official would be on the same call together to witness the sex, and ensure that all parties involved were being safe.

The very next day, I headed to the nearest rundown, dank subway bathroom.

At the entrance of the bathroom I was greeted by a government official. I was then told by said official to contact my doctor via the telehealth app, and inform him that I was about to get my pussy fucked at one of the glory holes.

The official informed me that there wasn’t a man yet present inside the bathroom (only a few other women waiting) but that it shouldn’t be too long as the 'rush hour' was about to happen. I was told to just go wait inside one of the stalls and that a man would surely be available shortly.

“Why aren’t there any men in there, now?” I asked the official, mainly confused.

“You would think guys would be lining up to fuck some pussy, no?” I added.

“Well, miss, who is going to keep whatever is left of our economy alive…most of the men right now are probably at work/working from home. Don’t worry, though, it shouldn’t be too long of a wait for all of you in there.” The official calmly explained to me, like it was a slow Tuesday for her.

Making my way inside the bathroom I could see the shoes of the other women peaking through the gaps underneath their stalls as I passed. All of them were waiting, and probably stupid horny; We were waiting, eagerly, for some random dick to pop through the hole on the other side.

When I got into my stall, there was no toilet, just opaque plexieglass with a hole in the middle of it so you couldn’t see into the men’s bathroom on the other side. Wow, I thought, our tax dollars really retro-fitted this thing out.

I fired up the telehealth app and got my doctor on the line who also invited a state official to join in on the call. It was good to see that they were also keeping safe as both of them seemed to have a large bottle of hand sanitizer on their desks. They both told me to just point my tablet at myself and the glory hole so they could have a "good view" of everything. As I did this, they both started to pump hand sanitizer into their hands, but then put their hands under their desks.

Which I thought was quite strange.

Shortly after they both said to me, at the same time, “We are all in this together.”

I repeated the Orwellian phrase back to them.