Yellow Fever At The Tokyo Ohh-lympics
Declaring myself as the "greatest gymnast of all time"(GOAT) was the second hardest, stunningly bravest thing I had ever done in my life.
Faking a mental-illness to cover-up a one of the greatest, hottest, most lustful lover-affairs of all time, was the most difficult.
They say that "Black don't crack", but I have to confess: I did snap.
People will call me a "quitter", a "coward" or that I'd hit The Wall early, but that isn't my truth. They just wouldn't understand why I had to do it, why I had to leave the floor on that fateful day. Abandoning my teammates, and my country in an unapologetic, insulting, unpatriotic fashion.
If the truth really came out, it would be like nuking Nagasaki and Hiroshima all over again...
Nobody understands the immense pressure... that was building in my loins leading up to these Olympic games. The weight of the world wasn't the only thing that was resting on my manly shoulders; the thought of another woman's body weighing down on mine was becoming a massive distraction.
Yes, I am in love with my teammate, Sunisa Lee.
She makes me turn Japanese every night, if you know what I mean...
It's why I can't stop, won't stop, yelling her name and cheerleading her from the empty stands around me in the stadium.
We've been fooling around for quite sometime now. Nobody else but my team, knows this. This is a dark secret of mine, darker than my skin; blacker than the face-diaper they make us wear.
It's the reason why everyone on the team was so chill and cool during all those press conferences and interviews, going along with my "mental-health issues", placating the media for me. They didn't do it because society today is too afraid and woke to criticize a woman, a black woman for that matter, and say what is really on their minds.
They[my team] just understand what it's like to be so fucking horny for your girl that you just can't go on and compete. All that nervous clapping, hopping, and jumping up and down on the sidelines every time Sunisa completed a rotation...that was sexual frustration trying to escape my body.
I swear this isn't all in my head. This is love, lust..whatever.
It's different when I do Nike and VISA commercials for a million dollars, because it is just me on set, on stage. When I am on the floor with Sunisa, it's different: I freeze-up when everything is on the line. I get nervous, horny...butterflies in my bosom and in my loins. My erect nipples will chafe against my body suit...blood sweat and tears, moisture down below...and jungle of heat.
No nigga dick could quench this thirst.
It was not because "pressure is a privilege", and something that everyone faces when competing at an elite level. Nuh ah! It was because I needed to go rub one out, because ma' girl got me so tingly, it be lingering in my leotard!
It had nothing to do with my character (or lack thereof) or that maybe society focuses too much on gender and skin color to accurately access whether or not someone is actually "amazing" or "great" at something.
It's not because of the above, that people like me get big egos to which have been pumped-up with few fundamentals to back it, ra-ra diversity and "first black female" this and that. GOAT this and that.
It has nothing to do with me having peaked already as a gymnast on the world stage. Ohh hell nah, you sexist/racist! This has everything to do with me wanting Sunisa and her smoking hot, tiny Asian body all over mine, 24/7!
I am crazy in the head for her.
You can fake a mental-illness, but you can't fake love!
You can't fake the fact that our dorm room smells like a Nike sweat shop factory after we are done doing each other!
I have anxiety, you bigots!
Anxious about the next time Sunisa and I can play chicken during practice; wrap our legs around each other when everyone has gone home!
I've heard people call me "Simone Bails" instead of my Yass Queen title of GOAT. The only time I will go down is when it's on ma girl and that is special between us.
When you're in lust/love with someone, you don't compete against them for marks and points....you sit back and support them. In every relationship, one person has to take the lead.
Even though I am technically "team Captain", Sunisa is clearly the real leader in my heart and in my eyes. She demonstrates that on the floor with me everyday and every night...mostly because the bed creaks too much and we don't want to wake the others.
I mean, just look at my girl, Suni. She is so perfect. Her body is much better than mine, her ass so tight, hips just the right width and thickness. She is the most feminine out of everyone in the competition!
For Christ sake, Sunisa actually has tits!
Everyone else is as flat as a gym mat!
Plus, we'd make a great couple...an Asian and a black girl, think of the PR!
Just think of all the VISA and Nike commercials we could do together as a couple and get paid millions of dollars for our "personalities"...even though I am no longer competing anymore!
Mental-illness is a personality, you bigot!
I am still the GOAT even though I quit when I started to fail!
The real reason why I had to walk away from my team that day during the Women's All Around, had nothing to do with me failing harder than the US education system: It was because I had to go finger-blast my pussy so badly, off camera, in the privacy of our team's locker room. It's a woman thing...ya'll don't know how it is.
The struggles us women have to go through on the daily. Especially when you are a sassy, brave and stunning black female, greatest victim of all time, closet lesbian who now has something wrong with her brain box and her finger box!
It's why I was walking so fast and almost in tears. People think guys only get "blue balls", but us girls need to let that dam release, especially when your crush is doing spread eagles and splits mid-air right in front of you!
Shit nigga, for realzzz!
I just can't stand being on the floor anymore when Sunisa is out there, giving me hugs, faux kisses, patting and slapping me on the ass... even though I kept screwing up!
Unlike me, she is so loving, understanding, and supportive of her team. I don't deserve her!
It was just too much for me to take, too many tingles, and too much wetness down below. You try running at half the top-speed of others to the vault, when you have what seems like a wetland conservation area between your thighs! That's when you have some real problems. That's when you can't compete!
You try straddling that balance beam whilst resisting the urge to hump the living shit out of it, knowing you are going to soak through, all because you're imagining that pressure between your pipes being your hot teammate's leg!
No need to spray down the chalk with the squirt bottle after that!
Love is a mental-illness. It's OK not to be OK, ok?!
I shouldn't be confessing this to everyone, but I just knew The Red Island would be a good place to let it all out. I know y'all would understand what I am going through with regards to me and Sunisa.
Everyone back home in the United States thinks I let my team down and the country as well. That's not my truth!
I will still be doing commercials with my Team USA leotard on and getting paid...I just simply can't and won't compete anymore, because Sunisa's box is the best thing since General Tso's chicken.
The her lips (both kinds) glistened last night in the moonlight through the drapes when we were finished in her dorm room. The way she used my body like a pommel horse, rubbing her stuff all over mine; the whole room smelled like sex and take-out.
This country wouldn't even begin to understand what I am going through, because everyone is so homophobic, sexist, racist, misogynist, etc!
The only demographic that would be able to comprehend this, is the one that makes up literally Hitler, only 2% of the world's population. C'mon ma lesbian sistas!
You try not staring at Sunisa's ass when she bends over to chalk-up before the uneven bars!
They wouldn't understand the deep dark secret: The only reason why I trained for over 4 years, and all my life, was because I wanted to be close to Sunisa Lee.
I actually can't stand gymnastics!
Hence, why I no longer need to compete anymore. It's not that I "quit" because I'm not as good as everyone told me. It's because I wanted to quit this charade of faking it: I want to slap, pat and squeeze Sunisa's ass for realz, and it not just be for some "showing of support" in- front of an audience....even though nobody is watching this year.
The only thing I don't fake are my orgasms when I am thinking about Sunisa and when we are together...
The ratings were in the toilet. It wasn't until I went full-retard that people started to watch; they finally gave me the attention I think I deserve.
My mental health is more important than anything. There isn't an "I" in the word "Team", however, there are the letters "M" and "E".
My mental gymnastics and masturbation for that matter are important than honor, integrity, loyalty and character. I don't owe my sponsors, even though they are the main reason why I have the privilege to be at the Olympics, anything!
I don't even know why I'm even here to begin with, what is the point!
I am so horny and in love!
You try faking being great all those years, wasting all that time, training, only to bow out when the clock strikes midnight! You try doing that when the chips are down and everyone is watching you (even though viewership is at a 33-year low). You try to not to have an orgasm when your bestie squeezes your bum, and gives you a high-five after you've tumbled in your skin tight leotard!
What's that you say?
"Why can Sunisa handle all of this pressure and you can't?"
Well, it's because she is the "man" in this relationship...even though her body has more feminine curves than mine. I am the bitch. She is my rock. We don't need a cock or a man. We just need each other!
I think it's best that I cheerlead from the sidelines and yell out her name, because that's all I want to do when she's on the competition floor....and in the bedroom with me.
You think biting and sinking your teeth into a Gold medal is bliss?
I'd rather nibble and bite softly into Sunisa's neck line, her bosom and ass.
She's the only yellow thing I need in my life; tastes just like Gold.
Yours truly horny,
Ms. 'Black Don't Crack'