Married Texas teacher, Nicole Marie-Faires Andrews, accused of pleasing a student instead of Jesus

Original Story on

A former middle school teacher and married mother-of-one from Texas has been arrested for allegedly having a sexual relationship with a male high school student whom she met at church.

Nicole Marie Faires-Andrews, 31, was taken into custody on Tuesday and booked into the Williamson County Jail on felony counts of sexual assault of a child and improper relationship between educator and student.

Investigators say the victim in this case did not attend Cedar Park Middle Student, where Faires-Andrews had taught English and language arts until her resignation in early November.

According to local authorities, Faires-Andrews met the teenage boy while volunteering with the youth ministry at the Church at Canyon Creek in Austin, where her father-in-law is the head pastor.

The English teacher was placed on administrative leave the same day, and resigned less than two weeks later.

Records show that the Texas Education Agency is conducting its own investigation into Faires-Andrews, which got under way on November 21.

The former teacher is married to Dustin Andrews, 30, and the couple have a young son together.

According to his Facebook page, Dustin Andrews co-owns a CrossFit gym in Cedar Park and has worked as a fitness instructor since 2010.

Life can be funny sometimes, especially for young mother and wife from the heart of Texas. One day you are on your knees, pleasing Jesus. The next, pleasing a high school student. A horny teacher with a mouth and a vagina bigger than her heart, or a confused God-fearing daughter-in-law of a pastor who’s definition of volunteering may be different from most? God works in mysterious ways, and so do horny female teachers. Maybe her husband should have spent less time flipping tires, and more time flipping our gurl onto her back.

The Report Card

Methodology: A very vanilla approach to seducing a young, Texas lad; church is boring and idle thoughts and hands create the devils work. With a presumable and equally bored housewife and teacher, it was only a matter of time that blowies and handjibbers would commence between pews and in the confessional booth. It's a classic tale of repressed desires and a call from God to be fruitful and multiply.


Integrity: There was the book of Genesis and also the band Genesis. I believe Phil Collins said it best in the lyrics from the song, "Throwing It All Away". Our gurl, Nicole, had it all. She had Chad (aka Dustin) as her husband,a modern gurls wet-dream. They have a kid together. She is 31 and is hitting the Wall. She had a career. She was horny. It is a situation as perplexing as heaven its self. If we know anything from the story of Adam and Eve, it was that Eve was just a greedy, entitled, chick, who had a lust for young, tender fruit. In addition, Nicole Marie-Faires Andrews has the classic hyphenated last name; signalling waving commitment to her husband, Dustin. An obvious red flag for any man. However, Dustin prob was too busy lifting to even notice this subtle, yet classic, sign of a future cheating whore of Babylon.


Presentation/looks: For 31 and hitting the Wall, Nicole doesn't look that bad. However, the devil is in the details (i.e the bikini shot). She's starting to get the dumpy ass, loose skin and that weathered and rode hard look. Which begs the question, again, "Why did you throw it all away when you have Chad (aka Dustin)?"


Overall Grade

B (solid)

CASE Closed

#MeToo #TeachersWorthyofaD #Satire


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