My name is Troy McAvoy. Some of you may’ve heard of me, most of you will have not; that’s because I was in the position you’re standing in now, long before your father busted force into your beautiful mother. If you’re old enough and have been in the Game before, some of you will know me as Troy ‘8- Ball’ McAvoy. That’s right, I did a lot of fucking coke during the 1980’s, so what? Everyone did. I just did it better. I have more experience in one skin cell on my cock than you have around your entire, fuck’n body. That’s ok though, this is a place of learning and it’s my job to train you for what is to become your daily grind; a grind that has been done by many before you. Many fail and many will want to dive briefcase first into that sea of traffic on the highway, as office commuter’s speed towards their cubes in the grand towers that reach the heavens.
That grind is getting harder and less rewarding by the day, as the fabric and soul of America’s workplace becomes even more tattered. Your job, as a corporate grunt, is not without its perks, but those luxuries are proving more difficult to acquire due to changes in the economic landscape and other social factors within other institutions of life. It never used to be this stressful; it never was suppose to be this dirty. It was never supposed to be a war out there on the roads and in the break room or behind closed door meetings.
To give you an illustration, let’s start with about 300 million people in the United States. Consider that half of them are retired or in school or on welfare. A fourth is taking care of the retired ones and the ones who are still in school. So now you’ve got roughly 75 million left. However, 29 million people work for the Federal Government which means only 46 million are left to bring home the bacon; or what’s left of it after taxes. Ah, but wait. Then there is the 15 million who work for the local governments, so they’re only marginally more worthwhile than the Feds. We’re now down to 31 million now. 80% of the aforementioned 31 million are lazy, apathetic, and mostly unproductive, or they’re busy undoing the damage done by the doofuses every day.
So, really, there are only 6 million people in this country doing real, actual, productive, innovative hard work. Those 6 million people are not only feeding 300 million, but providing them with warm homes in the winter and quality television programming. The comfort food and Friends reruns keep the unproductive, roiling masses from rioting. Karl Marx was wrong: Religion is not the opiate of the people, T.V is. We here at CorporateLand understand your pain. We understand why you’re here; because you want to be better than the bums and the lazy parasites that walk around this country, begging for a handout. Ultimately, you will be better and it is alas why you feel the way you do around the majority of people. It explains why, when you are in a room full of twenty people, you feel as though you’re the only one getting anything done. Human exploitation and slavery have always existed, and will forever exist in some form as long as the human race is around this gutter ball in outer space. Human stupidity and WILLFUL ignorance are endless natural resources to be exploited.