'Babe...We've Had Car Sex Twice...That Blows My Mind LOL': Math Teacher, Erica Dinora


Original Story at DailyMail.com

A high school teacher in Texas confessed to having sex with a 15-year-old student several times in the past few months — and referenced car romps in the “back seat” in steamy Snapchat messages, police said.

Erica Dinora Gomez, a 23-year-old math teacher at Bowie High School in Austin, was arrested Monday after corroborating details given to police by the teen during an interview with a detective from the department’s child abuse unit, the Austin American-Statesman reports.

Gomez told police she met the teen in January and started having sex with him in August. The pair met up for illicit encounters four or five times in the past few months, according to an arrest affidavit filed Monday.

Gomez also made references in Snapchat messages to having “fun in the back seat” and experimenting sexually with the teen, whom Gomez previously tutored, his mother told police.

“Babe … We’ve had car sex twice,” Gomez wrote in one message, according to the affidavit. “Like that blows my mind LOL.”

The teen’s mother learned of the relationship early Sunday when she awoke to the sound of her apartment door closing. She then found her son lying on his bed fully clothed, so she grabbed his phone and began searching it, the affidavit states.

The teen’s mother then found several explicit messages sent from a username of “Special,” prompting her to dig for more details. She found that the messages were sent from someone named “Ericadinora,” according to the affidavit.

I didn’t know Sid from the Ice Age movie(s) was into sexually assaulting 15-year-old boys.

After grading and combing over Michelina Aichele’s case—our earlier FTSS which happened this week—I am truly sorry to bring you Erica Gomez.

We have to do this, though.

Erica Dinora Gomez, our gurl today, is what I would classify as your default FTSS archetype: The lonely horny female teacher, who in real life can’t get a man to have 'hawt sex' with her; seeks the lowest and easiest fruit to suck on. Her case is cut and dry; no real mystery here.

Most modern women today, who are young-looking, hot, tight (all the things Erica isn't) started having ‘car sex’ long before they began accruing student loan debt. To be as thrilled—shocked albeit— and excited as our gurl was when her tiny brain comprehended the fact that, “Babe….We’ve had car sex twice”. I can see how that “Like blows my mind.”

What doesn’t blow this FTSS detectives mind is Erica’s jubilation at the fact that someone would have sex with her, for once; that someone wanted to check her oil and stuff her muffler.

What does blow my mind is why even a 15-year-old would volunteer for the job of Erica’s personal mechanic; checking under her hood to make sure her engine is well-lubed and is getting regular ‘service’.

After all, Erica Gomez is not what I wanted to see when I opened the original article. You could only imagine how furious this detective was when he envisioned an ‘Erica Gomez’— A tight 23-year old, big breasted, hawt Hispanic chick. Instead, I had the displeasure, like you, of having to stare at a woman who looks like one of the slot-jockey’s at Circus Circus in Las Vegas NV.

No bueno, por favor!

The Report Card

Methodology: Meeting the victim in January, having 'back seat sex' by August. It's no surprise that our gurl had to work real hard during the 'grooming' phase to get where she is today: Post suck-fuck phase. Car sex is reserved for special occasions and for women you really want to bang. You have to give Erica credit because I don't agree with our victim.

Our gurl is definitely 'special'...but not in the way he or she thinks. Not only did they have a back-seat bang, they did is multiple times. Which alludes to the assumption that we are dealing with two virgins; two lovers in a dangerous time. Erica forgot about the fact that 15-year old boys have a bedtime and curious mothers, who often wonder what their little boy is up to late at night.

B+

Integrity: Erica has no shame and doesn't discriminate when it comes to her vaginal needs. 15-year old boys are also an under-served demographic when it comes to ball draining.

B+

Presentation/looks: I get it. When you're a 15-year old boy, every woman with a sliz looks like a 10; that's your full set of balls doing the thinking. When our victim grows-up and is able to travel to other places in the world, beside his basement and in his video games, he will come to understand what is known as the Hometown Scarcity effect: A hometown 8 is like a Vegas 4 or 5, for example. Erica Gomez wouldn't even register in a place like Vegas or any University city for that matter; she'd be like a -2.

This is where the tragic story Erica Gomez ends. It is a true shame because she had the potential for greatness, but yet again as I have stressed before, a bad overall grade vs an amazing one usually hinges on the Presentation/looks category.

It's so important that you nail this category like you did that kid.

You could walk this detective through the Mexican dry lands, give me two bottles of tequila and I still wouldn't bang Erica after 2 weeks.

I wouldn't even fuck her with another man's dick.

D-

Personal Notes: His-panic at Erica's face.

Overall Grade

C+

CASE CLOSED

#TeachersWorthyofaD #Satire #MeToo #Humor

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