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C-Suite Letters: MADD During The Holidays (No Dick. No Driving. No Victims)

MADD During The Holidays

(No Dick. No Driving. No Victims)

C|Suite Letters

Dear C|Suite: About a week ago, M.A.D.D: An organization with a concern for the behaviors of young adults and their driving habits, put on an impromptu assembly at our high-school. With the holiday season fast approaching everyone, this is the time of year when teens like myself—who are already bored as fuck in school—have to sit through an hour of some ‘survivor’ talking about the dangers of drugs, drinking and reckless behavior.

Last time we were in the auditorium it was for a Holocaust survivor and I barely survived making it through that presentation!

As my fellow students and I all gathered in the auditorium, a very attractive young woman came on stage. A slide-show began to play in the background. She stood to the side of the stage while we all watched the horrific pictures on display; playing to the song(s) In the Arms of an Angel by Sarah McLachlan and then Simple Plan’s Untitled (How Could This Happen to Me?).

It was all very moving. There were pictures of the aftermath of car crashes; teens in the hospital with smiles on their faces, even though it was clear their bodies were in a lot of pain. Everyone in the audience, including myself, was confused. We didn’t know what to make of this just yet.

Finally, the slide show came to an end with the letters M.A.D.D on the screen: Mothers Against Deep-Dicking.

The young attractive woman began telling her story to us about how, just not long ago, she too had tried deep-dicking with her boyfriend. Deep dicking is apparently this new trend among young teens and adults who are in search of the ultimate orgasm and sexual experience with their fuck buddies or steady girlfriend/boyfriends. I hadn’t heard of it yet, but looking around the auditorium at the faces of my fellow students, it seemed as though some of them were silently embarrassed and looked jilted as this young woman began reciting her story and detailing what deep-dicking is.

There were faces of guilt all around me, that’s for sure.

As described by our hot presenter, 'Deep Dicking' is the act of inserting one’s phallic member, fully into the vagina, using short intermittent thrusts while the penis is still fully inserted.

The female receiving the deep-dick’n should position herself in such a way that there are no obstructions to full insertions. Typically done in scissor-like positions, doggy-style, reverse cow-girl/cowgirl; this act is often favored to be done in a moving vehicle while travelling quickly over speed bumps.

Apparently, deep-dicking has become an addictive sexual act to give your loved one for the holidays; hence the moral and cautionary campaign we were witnessing on display in our auditorium that day.

The viral spread of this act has been mainly blamed on young women; who have been spreading the word to their friends about how they got the holy grail of vaginal explosions from their boyfriend or loved one, deep-dicking them.

We all sat on the edge of our seats, with bated breath, while the young, tight and hot presenter explained her experience and run-in with deep-dicking:

It was a crisp December night—I was around 17 like most of you—and my boyfriend at the time wasn’t really ‘doing it’ for me in terms of sexual performance.

I really cared for him a lot, and I wanted our relationship to remain strong. At this time, I overheard one of my girlfriends in the locker room at school go on-and-on about how she got ‘deep-dicked’ one night by her boyfriend; how the orgasm she got 'changed her life'. At the time I was intrigued;my life needed to change too.

She basically became addicted to her boyfriends cock after that….but more importantly…became addicted to deep-dicking. So, I confided in her about the slump I was having in my relationship. She told me how to do it and so began my amazing, yet horrible journey, into the world of Deep-dicking and driving.

It first started with my boyfriend and I driving around school parking lots in search of those pesky speed bumps to slow down student drivers. My boyfriend would line up his car at the end of a row; I would wear a skirt with no panties and he would dress in easy to pull down, sweat pants. Those moments were the best; the anticipation of what was to come (pun not intended).

After slowly slipping my slit down on his penis in reverse cow girl, we would go way over the recommended 20 km per hour speed limit; the kinetic force and act of gravity when going over those speed bumps assists love-making in such a way that is almost indescribable.

I was hooked after that. It’s a pumping that no man can achieve with his gal, alone. It’s like… having sex with your guy, but at the same time having another strong man behind your boyfriend pushing down on his ass in order for him to fuck you even harder.

That’s the kind of force I am talking about.

You may all be thinking, “Wow Julie….this sounds awesome, I want to try deep-dicking while driving!”. Well, I won’t lie to you….it’s pretty fucking amazing. Although, there is a dark side to it all and you can really get yourself and others hurt, even killed. That is why I share my story and message across the country; to tell you all that this is no laughing matter.

The dark side happened to me. Like I mentioned before, it didn’t stop with the speed bump sex. I wanted more. It was addictive and my boyfriend at the time couldn’t get enough of it, too. I mean, I was asking him almost every chance we had to go drive the car around and him deep-dick me. We would skip classes; skip school, miss appointments, miss lunch, forget to sleep, for get to drink, and even sneak out of our parent’s house late at night. Deep-dicking was all I could think about; deep within my thoughts.

Looking back, how could you blame my boyfriend (a man). How could he say 'no' to his girlfriend; who wanted to deep-dick all the time? It was selfish of me to take advantage, knowing full well the mechanics of it all and how for a guy it would also feel amazing to have your dick fully inserted into a woman's vagina, hitting the deepest parts of her wet, hot womanhood; the warmest, tightest hug a vagina can give a man.

That’s what deep-dicking feels like for guys. That's what a relationship in full blossom can feel like. We were so happy once again. It was a high we kept wanting to be sustained. Like your first drink, your first kiss; your first time getting deep-dicked by your man; your first time deep-dicking your girlfriends hot and eager mess downstairs.

The hysterically horny girl in me soon grew into a monster. I was becoming a junkie for cock; the deepest addiction. I started to cheat on my boyfriend; grabbing any guy off the street and asking him forcefully, "Do you have a fucking car and a huge cock!?". I was a lunatic. I was dangerous. i didn't like what I was becoming. But I couldn't stop.

Soon we were taking his[my boyfriend's] car onto long country roads; speeding and then slamming on the breaks in order to achieve the fullest of insertions. We took our relationship to the next level one evening as we wanted to deep-dick and drive with a group of my friends. Like swingers they are called 'slammers'; friends who help their other friends deep-dick.

At the time it was a great idea, as we could all take turns driving the car while the other couples could deep-dick in the back seat without having to worry about the road. On the night of the tragedy, we found the worst road in the city; it was full of pot holes, deformities and good bumps to go over.

At the time we all thought, “Thank God our municipal government sucks at repairing roads”. It was all fun and games until we wrecked. We were going too fast and the driver was deep-dicking his girlfriend when he wasn’t supposed to be. The resulting orgasm he got made his body go into a violent spasm; locking and stiffening his joints and muscles. He lost control of the vehicle and we ended up the ditch. He and his girlfriend would later perish at the hospital due to the combination of traumatic injury and dehydration from loss of bodily fluids; including blood.

When the police arrived on scene, there was no hiding what caused the accident. There were condoms and bodily fluids all over the seats and dashboard; the smell of cum and teen spirit were all over the car and our bodies. We all were taken to the hospital with broken bones, cuts, scrapes, concussions and sore genitalia.

The toll deep-dicking takes on your body is the most devastating. My vagina, even from just deep-dicking for only a month, had taken on the look of 40-year old woman's.

I am only 24.

Deep-dicking has aged my vagina 20 years. It’s all weathered and loose.

Were the orgasms and good times worth it?

Well, I am still standing here today. However, many so far have died from deep-dicking and driving (DD&D). The rest of friends in the car were just lucky, I guess.

Today, I give these talks to young teens like you. I was just like you not so long ago. I go to DDA (Deep-Dickers Anonymous) meetings often. I am proud to say that I haven’t gotten deep-dicked in over a year now, still going strong.

But, everyday is hard. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t want to pick up the phone and text a guy-friend, or hassle a guy on the street who has a vehicle, to see if he would want to go deep-dick me over some speed bumps; and pay for the gas myself, even.

With smart phones now, it’s just so tempting and easy to get that access to a guys dick. Whereas before if you didn’t have a car or weren’t of age to drive, you would have to ask a friend if they could supply you with a vehicle.

Today, you can meet guys who ALSO have cars online and then get them to deep-dick your pussy in a mall or school parking lot, like I did.

Don't be like me. If you are going to deep-dick, do it the safe way and do it at home in your parents basement while they are away. It may not be as fun or exciting as doing it while driving...but safe sex should be the best sex. This is your life we are talking about here.

Thank you.


After Julie, our M.A.D.D presenter said all of this, we all applauded and she took questions for a lengthy period of time. The students seemed beyond interested in this woman's harrowing tale of erotic horror. There were so many questions, by so many students, it seemed Julie was overwhelmed on stage by all the attention she was getting. It seemed like a lot of students were moved by her story….not in the way that Julie hoped, though.

I, like many other students in the audience, were moved in our pants. I had a disturbing boner.

That had to be one of the most terrifyingly erotic detail of events, I have ever heard. It was hauntingly sexy. Given by the soft chatter around me it seemed like most were making plans with their significant others to go try deep-dicking after school or on the weekend.

With Christmas around the corner, it just seems like the perfect gift to give a girl. How do I know this? Well, after the assembly, I went up to a random girl in the school and asked what she was doing over the holiday break. She told me that her boyfriend was going to take her out for a drive and go deep-dicking. Her eyes were wider than a crack addicts; pure ecstasy and joy.

The eager excitement on her face was uncanny. I don’t blame her; MADD should know that if you try and forbid something and if that 'something' is tingles of the vaginal variety and the ultimate orgasm for women….it’s going to have the opposite intended effect.

Keep an eye on the news this holiday season and understand the preventative measures one can take with regards to deep-dicking and driving. And if your daughter asks for your car, ask her first if she has any deep-dicking plans.

If she does, don’t scold her.

Instead, let her know you understand her quest for the ultimate cum and tell her to make sure she has a DD—a designated driver for the night. If your daughter is going to go deep-dicking, make sure someone, other than her boyfriend, is driving the car.

It’s all about being responsible.

Heck, offer to drive them yourself if you are worried. Give her cab money and tell the cabbie to drive at a reasonable rate over speed bumps and on county roads. If your daughter plans on going out and deep-dicking with her friends as a group, tell them to rent a party bus or limo.

It’s all about creating a safe environment for this behavior and providing education.

At the end of the day, people are going to want to deep-dick. Your girlfriend, wife or daughter is going to want to experience the joys that it brings. If you tell her 'no', she will surely flip the fuck out on you and will just go and find someone else to deep-dick with.

Stay safe this holiday season! Deep-dick, responsibly!


C|Suite is a men's magazine founded by Frank Cervi. It combines urban/office life-style articles with soft-core pornographic pictorials. In recent years, C-Suite introduced the 'letters' column in which readers send in borderline ridiculous sexcapades, resulting often in explicit and unnecessary detail.

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