GROWING UP IS HARD: Married Northridge Teacher, Kristen D. Grow, Receives 2 Years For Teen Sex

Original story at The Columbus Dispatch

A former Licking County high school teacher was sentenced to 2 years in prison Thursday after she admitted that she had sex with a student.

Kristen D. Grow, 39, of Frazeysburg, pleaded guilty in Licking County Court of Common Pleas to one count of sexual battery.

Grow was a teacher at Northridge High School when she engaged in sexual conduct with a student in her honors English class. Between February and May of last year, Grow had sex with the youth at least four times at her home.

Assistant Licking County Prosecutor Paula Sawyers said given the position of authority and trust teachers hold with their students, Grow should serve jail time.

“These are individuals who have no business having sex with students,” Sawyers said.

Although the age of consent is 16 in Ohio, teachers are prohibited from having sex with students regardless of their age.

Sawyers said Grow is the fifth adult in the education system to be prosecuted for having sex with a minor in the county since 2012.

Kristen D. Grow; your name is your destiny.

It's the new year and the holidays are over; horny female teachers are plotting as we speak. Our gurl, made our victims 'D' grow at least four times last year. Kristen is the 5th teacher, in five years at Licking County, to be charged with tending to their student's every need in, and outside of the classroom.

Married with kids, it seems our gurl has followed the standard playbook: Wall-hitting wife, married to beta provider; seeks easy, low-hanging Alpha-fucks by proxy (young virile teens who'd bang anything with a pulse and a wet hole).

There wasn't any honor going on in that honors English class.

The Report Card

Methodology: It's our first FTSS of the year and of course it seems that reporters are still hung-over from the holidays; a tremendous lack of details here. We know our gurl was providing our victim lessons: How two human beings can form two right angles at the same time.

I know it's hard to be a journalist in these times and I know it is the beginning of January. But, c'mon guys....wake the fuck up and do your fucking job already!

Did she use SnapChat; send nudies of her 39-year old cooter? How was this love story initiated? Are there flirty texts of which expose our gurls insatiable need to have her 39-year old muff, buffed?

What's the point of putting out a FTSS story if I have to do all of the imagery and assumptions? I get it, though, she's not Stephanie Peterson material, so the effort won't be there.


Integrity: A woman, a teacher, drops her career and panties for a teen boy. Put's her family and husband on hold, while she is out putting her hand, mouth and sliz all over a high school kid.

Shows the Licking Country education system that a teacher sex scandal, every year, for the last five, is doable.


Presentation/looks: When I look at Kristen in the thumbnail above, all I can think is: Patriotic, chemo patient.

For 39-years old, our gurl is one of those American ex-party-gurls who hit the Wall fast and hard. When you go watch a race at the Daytona 500, there are two types of single-vehicle crashes:One where the driver grinds into the Wall for a while, bumping into it multiple times before a tire pops, only to then gracefully slide down the incline and into a tire barrier where the engine smokes (game over).

The there is the driver that loses control and hits the Wall at full speed into the corner; flipping-the-fuck out of it, rolling it 50 times (wheels flying everywhere, metal and grass being flung around).

Kristen D. Grow is the latter of those two.

At 39-years can look better and hit the Wall more gracefully.

I mean, it looks like she combs her hair every morning with a pine cone.


Personal Notes: Making D Grow for the 5th year in Licking County....

Overall Grade



#TeachersWorthyofaD #Humor #Satire #MeToo


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