SOFT BALLS: Substitute Teacher, Whitney Roberts, 26, Pleads Guilty To Letting A Student Bang Her

Original story at Conway Daily Sun

CONWAY — A Chocorua woman who was working in Pennsylvania as a substitute teacher and charged there in March of 2018 with having sexual contact with a student has pleaded guilty to one of the charges.

Pennsylvania State Police charged Whitney Roberts, 26, with two counts of institutional sexual assault and a misdemeanor corruption of a minor count regarding incidents that allegedly took place in November of 2017.

Roberts is a former Kennett High School softball standout and previously organized a girls' softball tournament called the Mount Washington Valley Classic that was among the largest such tournaments in New England. Towanda Area School District Superintendent Amy Martell told police Roberts began working for the district in the fall of 2017. Roberts apparently started out as an intern but then became a substitute teacher.

On June 22, 2018, the case moved from a magisterial district court in Bradford County (Pa.) to the Bradford County Court of Common Pleas, where Roberts faced nine felony counts of intercourse/sexual contact with a student; and one felony count and one misdemeanor count each of corruption of a minor.

Roberts pleaded guilty March 12 to one third-degree felony count of intercourse/sexual conduct with a student. Third-degree felonies are less serious than first-degree felonies.

Police documents say Roberts had sex with the student a number of times.

Like you, I too believed this story was going to involve a female softball coach sliding her sliz into another chick's Home plate. We were wrong, though.

However, 'twas not a bad guess since all the proper signals and calls were there: Female softball coach, 'organized largest girls softball tournament' + sex....and.... it's boy!

Remember the good o'l days, in where high-T female athletes would take their over-clocked hormones out on each other, instead of boys?

Whitney is your classic, prototypical, horny female athlete who has so much testosterone kicking around in her system she can't think straight(Well...she kinda did).

Horny and feigning for a filling, Whitney's brain was so fogged-up on fucking she forgot how to click on and order the cheapest vibrator a teacher's salary can buy; ships within a day or 2 if you have a Prime membership.

Whitney had so many other outlets for her over-clocked vagina: Herself (buff the muff'n), her former teammates (70% are probably lez) or the local tavern.

Yes, our girl isn't what you would call 'I'd let her give me AIDS' hot, however, I am sure lots of guys with beer googles at 2AM would be game enough to let Whitney polish their bat with her mouth, or call in another friend as a pinch hitter; take one for the team.

It's clear from the affidavit below that Whitney wasn't the typical deranged female teacher who grooms her 'victim' for months or years on end; lets other student's guard the door while she gets banged by her student in class, or kidnaps and goes on the run with her love interest.

An updated affidavit by Trooper Miranda Musick of Pennsylvania State Police Troop P,

dated June 22, 2018, said the boy told Musick "that he had sex with the defendant a few more times than he initially told me," said Musick.

The boy told the trooper that before Roberts went home to New Hampshire for Thanksgiving, she picked him up at a store in Elmira, N.Y., about 35 miles north of Towanda, PA. Then she stopped at a convenience store and got gas and "a 13-pack of tall white cans that was not beer," the boy said.

"He explained that it was a fruity alcohol," the affidavit said.

The boy said he drove Roberts' car back to her house while she sat in the passenger seat. The car was pulled over by state troopers, who let him off with a verbal warning.

Once they got to her house, they allegedly had sex and the boy spent the night at her house, he told Musick.

He said they also got together after Thanksgiving but he "couldn't remember the day." He said she picked him up at a friend's house. They had sex in her home three times and she performed oral sex on him, he said.

"He stayed the night that night, and she dropped him off at (redacted) residence before school," said the affidavit. "He related that he could tell me the layout of her house and what she wears to sleep in. He explained she wears black and orange Powder Puff jersey with shorts."

Musick said that a trooper did in fact pull the boy over early on Nov. 24, 2017, in Roberts' car. Roberts said she had been drinking and that was why the boy was driving.

"The female told Tpr. (Anthony) Avvisato that her family owned a cabin off of SR 414 and that is where they were heading," said the affidavit. "At the time this occurred, the defendant lived at a cabin off of SR 414."

Whitney Roberts just wanted somebody...anybody really, to dig-out her snapper, many times. Whitney, no doubt, probably scouted the local tavern for men her age, maybe even sought out co-workers for the task of batting her bits, but couldn't find any MVP's. What she did find, though, was an eager amateur on the waivers; a boy who would play ball for anyone and any team.

Again, when you are a teen boy and you are looking to swing your bat for the first time (or first few), you really don't care what team it is. When it comes to team Vagina...its roughly all the same. At that age, you will take whatever 'contracts' you can get.

Whitney needed to fill her 'dugout' fast; she needed somebody to throw a straight fast one ...right into her soft, mitt.

The Report Card

Methodology: All accounts show that Whitey, basically, signed a vaginal contract with this boy; it gave him the privilege to use her dugout for practice until he is called up to the Big Leagues.

With our victim's carnal knowledge, he will be better prepared to handle women in his own age bracket once word gets out that he had been vaginally approved. Women talk, and when women get word of other women salivating over your horn (getting picked-up at a corner store/friend's house for an afternoon bangfest), be sure that you have your phone on, DM's open and a box of condoms in your backpack.

Whitney did everything a regular, horny girlfriend would do when she wants to get fucked silly: Picks her boy-toy up at a random store; straight to her house for 3 bangs (And a blowie) in a row.


Integrity: Gets drunk; asks her victim to drive; rewards him with bangs and blowies.

The public may see a high-T, horny female teacher; all I can see is someone who respects the Don't Drink, Drive & Fuck at the same time, policy.

Arriving alive is what we, as a society, should strive for. If Whitney were behind the wheel that night, horny and drunk, who knows how many lives would've been lost!


Presentation/looks: Whitney is presenting as a traitor to the 'sister hood' of female softball players; she swings for the other team (team Penis).

Right off the bat....our gurl looks like the fraternal twin of Will Poulter.

Not look'n good already.

We do know, from the affidavit, that our gurl likes to wear a orange and black 'Powder Puff jersey' and shorts to bed. That's hot...too bad our gurl has the body of a softballer.

Just too much masculine energy with this one. When looking to rank a chick on the 'Fuckable' scale of things, one very important factor is whether or not she could snap your dick off in bed; crush your rib cage with her thigh muscles, while you deep-dick her.

If you chicks insist on trying to be like men....just understand that no guy is going to want to slide dick- first into your Home base. Unless he is an equally horny teen; or a thirsty mangina.

Not for me.

I bet she does Kegels, too...


Personal Notes: Whitney loves playing with soft balls; She practices safe driving (Safe sex, too?).

Overall Grade


#ToxicFemininity #TeachersWorthyofaD #MeToo #Satire #Humor


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