• Frank Cervi

23 AND HORNY: Ex-Basketball Coach And Athlete, Hayley Reneau, Arrested For Banging A Teen

Updated: Mar 16


Original story at Journal Star

WASHINGTON — A former Washington Community High School coach was arrested by Washington police Monday on a charge of criminal sexual assault.

The charge alleges Hayley Reneau, 23, “held a position of trust, authority, or supervision in relation to the victim ...” according to a statement by Police Chief Mike McCoy.

The victim was between the ages of 13 and 17, McCoy stated in the release.

Reneau resigned from her position at the high school, where she served as a freshman volleyball and girls basketball coach, on July 29, according to a release from the school.

The WCHS statement also indicated the affected student’s family had been notified, as had the Department of Children and Family Services. School officials said in the statement that there was no indication that any other students were affected.

Reneau played basketball for Eureka College and Illinois Central College prior to her graduation.

Normal teachers take the summer off; Horny female teachers just can't help it.

We were having a relaxing summer vacation over here at the FTSS detective office when, of course, we get a last-minute buzzer beater of a bitch, Hayley Reneau. Who, like many before here during the off-season, decide to throw their pussy and teaching career into the ring: Vying for a seat at the table of Greatness.

We always get these last-minute mega babes, who for whatever reason, decided to hold-out to the very last possible quarter of the teaching year (before first semester) and bang one of their student's ( or at least get caught doing it). Hayley has thrown a Hail Mary our way, and like most, it's looking shaky at best. Shaky, like how Hayley's body must've been, from getting her O's..... from her X's mixed up on the play board.

With any Hail Mary throw from a FTSS we of course don't know much about how it's all going to end up; we only have very preliminary information to go on. We don't know exactly what happened; All we know is that she got-off and banged a student. More importantly, we don't know if it was a male or a female student.

However, given the facts, we can deduce a possible conclusion: I am willing to bet money that there was some sliz-on-sliz sliding (Say that six times fast). A real tongue twister. Much like the one Hayley probably gave to her 'victim' (lesbian affair, most likely).

Hear me out on this one for a minute.

This is what we know: Hayley is one of the prettiest female basketball player's I have ever seen, she coaches girls volleyball and basketball, according to straight WNBA player Candice Wiggins '98 percent of player's in the WNBA are lesbian.

Now, Candice Wiggins may be exaggerating, just a bit. However, I do believe there is a 'lesbian culture' in the WNBA.

I mean, just look at even one-third of those chicks. Yikes! The thing is, the lesbian culture in female sports is a trickle down (pun intended) mess, that permeates into the lower tiers (College, High school basketball).

Or, it trickles up depending on how you look at it: The culture of tic-tac licking is moved along through the tiers as the girls move up, bringing the culture with them. It makes sense that the highest concentration (almost 100% according to Wiggins) would be at the top echelons of female sports. It is in the top-tier in where you will have the best of the best (i.e women with the highest T-levels).

Now, in my research (keeping my eyes open and ears to the ground) this is my estimate: I don't think it's 98 percent in the WNBA, but more like 50-60%. In college, probably a third of the women (30%) like to give each other 'morale boosts'; in high-school I would say <5%. In addition, I rank women's basketball at the top with being the sport to have the most sliz-on-sliz sliders; Soft-ball second; hockey third; volleyball fourth.

What we know about Hayley: She played college basketball, she coaches girls volleyball and basketball, she is around other girls who play basketball for the majority of her time at school.

The odds are looking good.

If I were a betting man (which I am) and you told me that the bookie inside the MGM in Las Vegas was taking bets on this Female Teacher Sex Scandal case, in whether or not the victim is a female, let's just say that yours truly is betting big on the dyke-team duo!

I give the odds of it being a lesbian affair about 30%. I'll take that action, because I am not a pussy-bitch!

The Report Card

Methodology: The authorities have given us a big Nothing burger on this one; I am not waiting until Haley's court appearance (September 6th 2019) to write my report on this horny coach. With that said, I am in a good mood. So, if more information is given between now and or on that date I will re-grade her.

For now, she gets the big D. (Still unsure if she would prefer the 'pink doughnut hole' at this point).

D

Integrity: Just graduated college; 23 and has already ruined her career and life. Hayley is moving faster in life than she probably did on the court!

B+

Presentation/looks: Hayley is one of the hottest female basketball players/coaches I have ever seen; She is not the hottest woman or FTSS, though. There is a big difference.

In terms of female basketball hotness, Hayley doesn't have the typical dyke-cut or masculine frame that most wildebeest in the WNBA possess to my viewing displeasure of such a boner-killing image.

Hayley still retains a feminine frame and look, even though she has spent years traveling around in the supposed 'dyke culture' of female basketball. Bravo.

Now, we do encourage our Female Sex Scandal Teachers, when presenting, to show us an array of photos (talent show). Hayley doesn't disappoint on the quantity. However, its the lack of diversification in her portfolio-of-fun to which brings me concern.

What is with women today masturbating to their graduation, convocation; completing a most likely, worthless 4-years. Hayley, it seems, hired a professional photographer to take a cornucopia of pictures of her parading around campus in her graduation hat, along with her ripped jeans.

This pedestalization of the college degree for women is just so off-putting when Hayley could've, in fact, used this professional photographer at Shelbyphotography to get even better pictures of her, oh let's say, at the beach in a bikini!

Let's take a minute, though, to hear from one of Hayley's biggest fans: Her photographer.

"If you live in Washington or happen to follow women’s sports, then you can’t help but know this talented young woman. I happen to be one of her biggest fans and have followed her college career since she graduated from Washington Community High School. Hayley has a passion for hard work, determination and a love for the game of basketball that has led her to an incredible basketball career. She is an amazing girl on and off the court and I can’t help but smile knowing that her future is sooooo bright!"

The irony, here.

Where are the summer beach pics? The bar-hopping with friends on a Saturday night in your cum-fuck-me pants? The L.A curator, made for Instagram, ass shots by a pool or in-front of a wall full of graffiti, that show the decay of society whilst still displaying the beautiful sights and value of a woman: Her ass and tits? Please?

A good photographer will try to capture the real Hayley, inside and out. But more importantly, the outside! Her grade depends on this. If you truly cared, you would've taken better pictures. Like ones of Hayley in the locker room, in a towel, after a long steamy shower. Just an example.

A woman's value, ahem, a FTSS's value is not in her college degree. It is in the crisp and high-quality nature of her Instagram pictures displaying her most sought-after assets.

Without these all important pictures of Hayley showing off her frame, whose to know? She could very-well have the butch-body of a dyketress underneath those ripped jeans.

The mug-shot, though, say's a lot. I don't think we've ever had such a gorgeous one like Hayley's. That is the true test of any woman. If you can look that good, without make-up, at the complete worst time in your life (getting booked for sexual assault of a minor), you go-gurl!

President and the Pedophile

A-

Personal Notes: Instead of defibrillators around the gym there should be glass cases with Hitachi Magic wands in them: 'Break in case of the hornies'.

Overall Grade

B-

#TeachersWorthyofaD #Satire #Humor #MeToo

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© 2020 Frank Cervi