Desert Island: Rachel Platten


Welcome to the island, Rachel Platten.

Why She Was Chosen

I know what most of you are thinking, “Two Rachels now, eh?” ‘Tis pure coincidence, but, who wouldn’t want some R&R on the island?

Would 'Hurry Hard' Homan be jealous or upset? No, because she is better than that and I am sure she would realize how lucky they both are for being chosen as settlers and residents of paradise—escaping the collapsed and fallen Western society to which we all came from.

Yes, Rachel Platten is strikingly hot. However, she was, like Homan, picked from the litter for more than just respite for the eyes. Rachel Platten’s story is one of rarity and is compelling in so far as what she went through to achieve her goals and success in life.

Success didn’t just fall into her lap like a free drink from Chad at the local tavern; she earned it; like all the true great artists have done. She is probably one of the most underrated artists (female) to come along.

She isn’t a normie (obviously) and didn’t get to the top by fucking her boss in the back cubicle at Pfizer (at least I am not aware of any cheating); she came from nothing, struggled very hard, had to fight off demons—mainly friends and family who didn’t really think she would make it (always happens).

Her success came, ironically, right after she was about to give up; during the darkest time of her career when she thought she was getting nowhere, playing gigs at local bars in New York, struggling to live, and wondering if she was going to make anything out of her amazing gifts (pianist/singer).

What Rachel did though, was what most of the greats do to make it; they used all the anger they had inside them, the energy, and the frustration. She used all of that fuel to create something amazing. Those amazing things for Rachel came in the form of her mega hit album Wild Fire—which almost every song could be considered a hit. Those songs resonated with the public and it is plain to see why. She struck a chord, so to speak and it paid off. Now, in all honesty, I don’t care for her new stuff—it strays away from the anthmatic, piano-crushing songs from Wild Fire and into the more electric, dark alley style of songs. But, whatever, that’s her journey.

She’s hot, a fighter, and truly earned her way in life—not unlike most of the hussies and sluts who expect the world to be front-loaded, from a blowjob.

Without further buttering Platten’s muffin…our story on the island continues….

Desert Island: Chapter 2

Platten's Paradise

It’s been a few months since Western society and the greater world had collapsed by the hand of the gynocentric mania. You look at Rachel (Homan) and give her the news that Rachel P will be joining you both; not just for dinner and drinks, but for enternity. Arrangements had been made, via the military, to Dumbo drop a Yamaha baby grand piano from a Hercules above; along with Platten to parachute in.

On most nights, almost every night, Platten will play her hits at the small tavern shack that you built out of bamboo, palm leaves and drift wood; with your man-skills. Platten will sing her songs and tickle the ivories for you and other Rachel; while you feast on coconuts and captured, succulent boar via torch lighting. Lighting to which illuminates the inside of the tavern; an aura of island motif and mosaic. Homan did all the decorating. Two pats on the ass for that.

It is a nice way to end the day and spend the evening at the island tavern; especially since Homan would be sweeping the sand from the love hut all day long and would want some fun and entertainment.

Rachel P, during the day, just lies about; catching rays and swimming with the dolphins—since the island doesn't need another sweeper— it would not be a good use of her talents. You, to keep morale high, would, every hour, go up to Homan and give her firm spank on dat' tight ass for encouragement; a slightly, cupping smack that says, “Hey gurl, you’re doing a good job….and looking fine doing it.” She would stop and crane her neck, looking at you with a fiery yearning and thankfulness: An appreciation, because you saved her from the cold, shit-hole that was Canada.

As for Platten, she would be singing down by the shoreline, serenading Homan as she swept the endless sand to which blows into the love hut. You, working on the islands next building project, can hear those faint sounds of an angel. Platten would look at you with appreciation, saying things like how that gull on the water is setting ‘big waves into motion’. You would think to yourself, “I smell another hit coming on.” She would look at you, with a pouting stare and ask, “Are you glad that I am here now, with you and other Rachel on the island?”

You respond simply, “It’s a better place since you came along.”

She stands by you, she walked through hell to get to heaven: The island.

A better place indeed, now that we don’t have to stare at the fulgies in the city streets; the ball-busting bitches, the overweight masses hopped-up of fast food, the ghetto landscape that the West turned into. It had so much potential, but like all good things, it was squandered. Homan and Platten can now both do what they love; sweep and sing. Bathing in the ocean blue, taking in God's view, eating fine fruits, watching monkey's bang and seagulls flying out to sea to die.

The circle of life.

The island doesn’t squander, it nourishes our strengths and our beauty.

All is well on the island, progress is being made— we now have a budding labor force and an entertainment industry.

Night time isn’t tricky because it’s just one giant sleepover—with benefits. Platten would hit high notes like you’ve never heard before and Homan; giving commands to “hurry hard” and finish: A great symphony that only the monkeys and nocturnal can hear under the moonlit canvass.

Read Chapter 1: Homan's Homecoming

#RachelPlatten #RachelHoman #Humor #Satire

podcast2.jpg

 Copyright © 2020 Frank Cervi   All rights reserved

 

Terms Of Use 

The blog, podcast and books are works of fiction/entertainment. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

All views expressed on this site, podcast and books do not necessarily reflect that of the author's and website owner. All views expressed do not represent the opinions of any entity whatsoever with which the author has been, are now, or will be affiliated.

This site and its content are for an extremely mature reader keen to understanding various points of views to arrive at truth. The objective is not to hurt any sentiments or be biased in favor of or against any particular person, society, gender, creed, nation or religion. However, the truth is objective and feelings aren't facts. If your feelings get hurt, that is your problem and responsibility.

Kindly do not browse through the articles if you believe that certain kinds of content may be offensive to you. Viewing any content of the site is a conscious choice of the visitor. If you cannot understand that you, as a person, have agency and are responsible for your subjective emotions then you are a fucking moron who should not be engaging with this site and its materials.

 

We recommend that unless you are completely convinced, it is preferable that you do not read anything on this site. Simply close the browser window immediately and enjoy the rest of the innumerable web-pages on the internet. Don’t tell us later that we did not warn you. Again, you are an adult and hopefully not a fucking low IQ moron.

Reading this site may cause permanent changes in your thought process and ideology. It may force you to rethink your entire belief system and bring fundamental changes in your personality. Not everyone is ready for such massive transformation and hence we recommend that one better avoid the site.

Sponsored Posts

We cover a variety of topics on The Red Island, however if you would like advice, insight, or for us to cover a specific topic, you can buy a post.

 

This option is due to the heavy amount of requests and emails that I get, and it's difficult to keep the blog on schedule, do podcasts, craft new novels while keeping an eye on the stock market/my investments if I just answer emails all day long.

If you wish to just simply donate to the booze fund, that's great too. Just skip all these literally Hitler steps all the way down to the bottom and click that fucking button to send some cheddar biscuits (coin) my way. It's always appreciated.

To Get A Sponsored Post |

 

Step 1.

Simply email in with your request by explaining the question/topic you want covered clearly and in succinct fashion.

Step 2.

Your question/topic will be 'reviewed' to determine how much time and effort will be needed to provide the best response. You will then be provided an estimate via e-mail as to what it will cost to answer your question/cover a topic.

Step 3.

If you agree with the quoted price, simply make the payment by clicking the 'Donate' button below these steps using Paypal for the quoted amount agreed upon.

Step 4.

Upon confirming the funds are received your topic/question will be answered. You can either opt for a blog post or for an e-mail response only.

I officially bill out $100 per hour for my time, but in reality most of the e-mails I get can be solved/answered within a 30 min post/e-mail. For an e-mail response only I charge less due to the low-maintenance of not having to make a thumbnail or do extra formatting required on the blog.