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C-Suite Letters: Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

C|Suite Letters

Dear C-Suite: I never thought that something like this would happen to me, but here I am, writing to the magazine. Before I go any further, I just wanted to say that I have read and enjoyed the letters in the C|Suite Forum section for many months now. I must admit that, until now, I had always thought they were made up by twisted fetish fanatics; who’s sexual fantasies could only come true on paper. It just seemed too much of a stretch of credulity to believe they were true-to-life tales of actual readers. But, a recent experience I had with my friend Jake caused me to put aside my skepticism and write in myself.

Let me first set the record straight; before I delve into the dirty details of the tryst I had about a week ago. Both myself and my camping buddy, Jake, are in our mid-20’s; well-endowed individuals whose muscular atrophies are reminiscent of Hollister models—tanned, athletic, surfboard bodies, luscious locks of blonde and brown hair, and tight, shapely buns. Our penis lengths are well above the national average—12 inches soft— and girth, on the modest of sides.

Now that you know what we both look like, let me just say that when Jake and I decided to make plans for an ordinary camping trip up to the Muskokas; the last thing on our minds was the odd possibility of running into three voluptuous and gorgeous, nymphoaniacal, bi-curious college co-eds, miles from civilization; surrounded by the primal essence of nature, animals and a world of unspoiled pleasures within the deep forest canopy, in where our passions could reach untold heights far from the disapproving eyes of society.

I should stop as I am getting ahead of myself—also getting too aroused while writing this.

I digress.

It was the very last afternoon; Jake and I were out fishing for the days catch. We were then surprised to discover a young, unclothed woman bathing at a nearby shoreline; her breasts, buttocks and vagina in full view. I nearly snapped my pole with the grip of a thousand Gods.

Instead of shrieking off into the vast wilderness and covering herself, this woman, this vixen of the lake—whom we later learned was named Kora—invited us to row over in our canoe to her and participate in sexual activity so explicit and erotic that we had previously only imagined in our wildest and salacious fantasies as young, teenage boys. Kora showed us both how willing and fruitful a woman can be if she has been in the woods for more than 2 weeks without the company of men.

Shortly thereafter, Kora invited us back to her cabin in where we found out that she had two roommates: Sabrina and Mikayla; who we also engaged in erotic abandon with, for the rest of the afternoon, evening, night and morning. We were just five consenting adults, all lost in the world with only our primal instincts to rely on for survival.

However, we didn’t need rescuing from this paradise of lonely hearts. The only emergency that we encountered was exhaustion; passing out from de-hydration due to the extreme sexual exercise that happened between us and these forest nymphos from suburbia.

Since Kora had her way with Jake and I down by the lake, it was only fair that Sabrina and Mikayla got to fill their voids with our passionate penchant for powerful thrusts. They were both wetter than Kora’s bikini; that was hanging to dry on the clothesline outside the cabin.

Kora made sure to finger-blast herself; watching both Jake and I satisfy her two suffering roommates. Sabrina’s tit’s were rather busty as they bounced up and down from all the pounding. Her nipples had a pinkish hue; kinda like the hues in the soft sunset that evening. Mikayla’s vagina wasn’t fully shaved; she had a cute and tiny landing strip that guided my buddy Jake’s dick in for touch-and-go landings. Kora’s finger-blasting, of her totally shaved and wet pussy, could have made any bro jealous of such a technique.

Suffering from a long camping journey, without testosterone, fueled the need for this free-for-all on these chick's most intimate of body parts. The moaning and screaming to which ensued could have been used in lieu of an emergency flare.

I was never an ‘A’ student in math, but I am pretty sure Kora cummed at least three times; including twice back in the canoe. Sabrina, definitely, had more than three orgasms; her vagina looked beat and tired, I’ll tell ya. And Mikayla made the most mess out of all us; due to her involuntary squirting after each and every climax that ensued.

That night, it was safe to say that we didn’t need to light a fire; there was one happening within the confines of that musty, musky and sticky cabin. And if there was a fire, it is safe to say that Mikayla was our designated fire Marshall.

Chad Swagger is your typical American male who enjoys wearing a polo shirt to the office even more so than getting drunk on the weekends with the guys. In his high school yearbook, he stated that his ambitions in life were to work for a large beer company and to become a “skilled lover” between the sheets. Half as charming as he thinks he is—and twice as desperate— Chad’s erotic sexual exploits tend to be awkward in the wake of his supreme thirst for love, desire, and admiration. Darkly funny and utterly offensive, The Bro Next Door is a twisted character study that exposes a rare side of the characteristic American Bro.


C-Suite is a men's magazine founded by Frank Cervi. It combines urban/office life-style articles with soft-core pornographic pictorials. In recent years, C-Suite introduced the 'letters' column in which readers send in borderline ridiculous sexcapades, resulting often in explicit and unnecessary detail.

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