Student Teacher, Talia Sisco, And Her BFF, Tina Pourani, Arrested For Having Sex With Multiple Teens

Original story

Talia Sisco, 24, was arrested on Thursday amid allegations she romped with numerous lads, who are said to be relatives of family friends.

Her pal Tina Pourani, 23, was also booked on multiple counts of unlawful sexual intercourse and oral copulation with a minor.

Cops in California are now appealing for any other possible victims to come forward.

Sisco, who taught at Bernal Middle School, San Jose, is being held without bail while Pourani has been released pending further investigation after paying $60,000 bail.

According to police, all the lads are between 15 and 16 years old.

The women, who met while they were both at school together, have reportedly been under investigation since April.

The sheriff’s office said they received a tip suggesting there was “a series of alleged sexual relationships between these suspects and several boys attending a local high school”.

Alleged victims made claims to police who eventually “collected extensive evidence of a graphic sexual nature”.

This included a reference by at least one of the suspects describing her and her pal as “sexual deviants”, police said.

Holy. Mother. Of. God.

You know, a lot of people must think to themselves, “Frank, how hard is your day…really? You get to crop and airbrush the ass and tits of these hot teachers on your laptop; while having a beer as you rip on them through a satirical prose and act like a wise buffoon with a keyboard.”

Yes, one might think that this is easy—‘researching’ and grading these deviant smoke-shows—but you would be mistaken of the perceived glamorous lifestyle of a Female Teacher Sex Scandal, detective. The pay is low, but the perks…priceless.

Think about it from my POV; everyday, when one of these stories crosses your desk, you are reminded of how BORING, POINTLESS and FRUITLESS your high-school days were compared this shit. Every day is a nightmare in disguise: A blessing and a curse all at once. Every day it seems now, when I have to read this shit, it feels like a dream: fiction; in that all of these stories seem like they came from The Onion.

But no, they are all too real and that is what keeps me up at night….wondering which filter I should use; how I can work the words “buffin the muffin” into a paragraph. In the eyes of this private dick, these cases will continue well into the future; as I see no stoppage in this trend and will only continue to escalate.

However, I can’t, and will not, stop this vital service to the community. The days are long and hard….but in the end, somebody has to finish…the story.

<-------Btw, that phone in the back pocket is a' struggle'n

Case in point: Talia Sisco and Tina Pourani; our first FTSS partnership, a crime duo, nonetheless.

And with any business partnership there is always the ‘mastermind’ and also what is called: The Silent Partner. Talia; being the Queen beehind (volleyball bum).

Tina; being the honey pot, that brings all the boys to the front yard….for some freshly squeezed, poon juice.

The cost to our ‘victms’: Gas money, 12 pack of condoms? The cost to our gurls: A promising teaching career and stellar athletic record, tarnished; all because someone got the giner tingles and went off the reservation to looneytown. For Tina….I dunno…she won’t be able to Instagram for a couple years and then condemned to a lifetime of being a waitress at Hooters?

Since this is a duo we are going to have to break down the monologue.

Talia Sisco

This story is exceptionally shocking—not only because of the nature—due to the pure waste of a sex ring that had potential. These two could have turned their little street hustle into a grand operation involving OTHER hot female teachers; from them just banging all the young fruit that came in, to a point where they could have been madams. Women: Never thinking of the long game. But instead, they had to pull the stupid and rookie move: bragging about their sexual escapades, like two horny teenage boys would.

From what we know, Talia is the poster-girl of feminism: a high-achieving, hypersexualized. ambitious, ‘alpha’ female who’s education and athletic record could be considered, a rarity.

Graduated with honors and magna cum laude, top ranked on her v-ball team, and also won a scholarship. She clearly excelled at everything she did—which explains the ambitious attempt to start and predicate a sex ring at the school involving her ‘BFF’, Tina.

Now, this is not confirmed, but my suspicion is that our gurl Talia (and possibly Tina) are bi-sexual.

Why do I think this?

Well, our gurl played all of the well-known ‘dyke’ sports: Volleyball, softball, basketball.

In volleyball, there is enough ass-grabbing, tight shorts, beautiful bodies and boob-bouncing to make any girl contemplate switching sides of the court. Plus, what we are dealing with here is a gurl who is High-T. Athletes in general, tend to fuck more, due to the increase in hormones.

Why do you think the Olympics has to stock up on so many condoms? It’s because its one, giant, fuckfest between all the alphas of the world. Now, that doesn’t excuse our gurl(s) from being devious and deviant sluts by-way of forming their own sex ring in order to get fed and steady stream of freshmen, but it explains the level of absurdity in this plan.

If you think women are irrational and crazy on a normal day, think of how crazy and short-sighted they are when they are stupidly horny and orgasms are the only thing on the menu to satiate the hunger that moans from the muffin.

Tina Pourani

We don’t know much about the clearly, sexier of the two. All we know is that our gurl Tina was a former cross-country runner in high-school. From this, we can assume that Tina, being washed out of sports, needed another idea for a claim to fame. So, why not agree to form a very modest sex ring with your best friend? We don’t know which one of the two admitted to proclaiming they were ‘a sex deviant’, but honestly, my money is on Tina.

Being out on a $60,000 bail (holy shit) means whatever these two did ('twas very bad), Tina did the least damage.

Her partner in crime, not being released...speaks volumes.

The Report Card

Methodology: Women bragging about their sexual conquests is like hearing a child brag about shitting their diaper; its easy and it can happen at any second. Now, to further that, bragging that you got to have sex with high-school dudes (who are horny AF) is like hearing someone said they caught 100 fish in 5 min; but used dynamite.

Anyway, forming a sex ring/pact in where our gurl's preformed 'oral copulation' and 'unlawful intercourse' seems wildly unnecessary. What was involved? Was there a lot of overhead and cost structure? Did Talia recruit the lads on campus and then funnel them to Tina for 'services rendered' and siphoned the funds afterwards? What do their quarterly's look like? Was there a solid ROD (Return on Dick). Was there repeat business? Did they meet labor every week? We'd love to hear more on these business details but again, the authorities are being assholes and hogging them all.


Integrity: Talia was the woman, the athlete, and the teacher that nobody would ever think could do something like this. Really?

A highly ambitious, driven woman in her prime sexual years who is empowered beyond belief couldn't pull off such a magical, penis puppet show with her long time friend?

People, please.

Stop underselling and underestimating today's modern and empowered female. It's 2018 for fuck sake. Sexism needs to stop. Women are clearly better than teacher sex scandals.


Presentation/looks: Talia's mugshot serves her no justice; her vball photo's however....oh lordy. Ha-bub-ba-da. However, as we know from cop shows and other team duo projects, there is always one that shines above the other; Talia is the Gabrielle to Tina's Xena: Warrior Princess. Fuck, now I have to do their grades separate and avg them out; I didn't think I'd have to do this much work today.

B (Talia) | A (Tina) = B+

Personal Notes: Mega cum laude

Overall Grade



#MeToo #TeachersWorthyofaD #Humor #Satire


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