C|Suite Letters: The Jobaholic
Dear C|Suite: I am a 27-year old female and I have a big problem in my life right now; I can't stop giving my best friend's boyfriend, handjobs.
I just want to set the record straight, first. It's not because I secretly hate my best friend, because she is prettier than I am, has stolen all of my love interests since we were in middle-school, has slightly larger breasts than me, and seems to attract all of the hot AF guys all the time; it has noting to do with getting attention or feeling entitled to everything I don't have.
No, not at all. It's just, I can't seem to stop myself. Life is so hard! It's almost like, things just seem to happen and get out of my control half the time. I don't know what to do about it!
Like for instance, the first time this all happened was when me, my best friend, and her first serious boyfriend were all at the Veld festival in Toronto for a weekend of trance glory. We were all on Molly and having the time of our lives; soaking up the nights ambiance and each others sweat.
We were packed like sardines in the thick of the crowd; our bodies all slick and oiled up from everyone else's sweat. In the mix of the fray, I suddenly found myself sandwiched between my best friend and her boyfriend; my ass was towards her boyfriend's crotch, him behind me; we were all facing the stage.
Through the motion of the crowed, we acted as one. Given that space was super limited, it became nearly impossible for my ass to avoid pushing into my best friend's boyfriend's, meaty groin. I could have moved and switched places with my best friend, but I didn't want to break the vibe, ya know?
Also, I didn't want to seem greedy and like I was trying to get closer to the stage. So there I stayed, dancing and sandwiched.
Suddenly, I could feel a growth expanding near my backside; it was my best friend's boyfriend's aroused penis sliding up and down my butt crack, over-top my leggings. I didn't know what to do, so I did want any normal girl would do in that situation... at an electronic dance festival: I started to twerk. It was like I had zero control over myself. Like, it's total instinct in that situation wherein a guy is behind you....it's unavoidable.
Once I could feel his cock fully encouraged and engorged, I started to feel guilty. I didn't want to be rude and pull my ass away and leave him unfinished...I mean...what kind of friend to my best friend's boyfriend would I have been if I did that?! I've heard blue balls can be painful from Cosmo.
My best friend had no idea what had been going on for the last 5 minutes of Long Way Home by Gareth Emery. Next thing I knew, I was giving my best friend's boyfriend a crackjob; the sliz of my butt crack smooshing and grinding against his thickness. I felt his hands on my hips grip me hard; I think that's when he came in his retro styled shorts. So there I was, a 19-year old college sophomore, sandwiched between my best friend and her finished boyfriend.
Shortly after he came in his shorts, he told me and my best friend that he felt dehydrated; mostly from all the drugs we were doing, the drinking and the heat. Part of it probably had to do with him losing bodily fluids from his balls, too.
I decided that I had to step up as the third wheel.
I felt mostly responsible (even though my best friend didn't know), so I told her I would take her boyfriend to the medic tent to get hydrated; she could stay and save our spots in the field and enjoy herself.
Her boyfriend didn't seem to mind either. So we walked to the medic tent; the medics got him some water and ice; they left us alone while they went out looking for people in the crowd who needed attention/assistance.
Her boyfriend seemed appreciative and thanked me (not sure if it was for the orgasm) for taking him to the medic tent and staying with him. Five minutes had passed and we were both sorta getting bored, but the medics before they left insisted that he stay there for a bit and rest.
I didn't know what to do, so I went on my smartphone for a bit to tell my best friend that he[her boyfriend] was OK and that we were just getting lots of water in him; cooling his body temp down. I got bored of checking my Instagram and some of the games on my phone; no 'likes' were on my recent posts, yet.
So, I didn't know what else to do... but give him a handjob while he drank his water. After he came again, all over my hand, like a snow cone in Arizona, I used the ice the medics gave us to relieve his sore balls before we headed back to where my best friend was in the field. Trying to puff out a 2nd nut in less than 30 minutes must have drained him.
"You are a good person", he said to me while I was wiping his spunk off my hand and between my fingers with a paper towel.
As the years went by, every time my best friend got a new boyfriend I always seemed to find myself wanting to give them all handjobs.
When we would all hang out it was surreal....and the urge would usually hit me after about 3 weeks of getting to know them through our mutual hangouts; mini-putt, going to the movies, board game nights, beach days, music festivals. It's just, I would always seem to get that old fashioned, romantic feeling when I was around all of my best friend's new boyfriends: That I would do anything to get my hand and mouth on their cocks.
Like this one time, me and my best friend's current boyfriend that she has now, partied with a bunch of people on her parent's beach front property. We all got so drunk and lit (like we usually do) that I was in no condition to drive home.
I usually just stay the night in her bed, even if her boyfriend stays over too. Anyway, the way we crashed on the bed had me positioned on the end with her boyfriend in the middle. In the dead of the night, things seemed to come alive. I accidentally felt her boyfriends leg brush against mine. So, I brushed mine against his.
Then I brushed my hand near his groin. He did the same to me. I couldn't stop myself and I soon found my hand slowly pulling his penis through the fly of his boxers, knobbing the head with the tips of my fingers. His hand then went toward the edge of my hips; I motioned my hips to face the direction of his body; his fingers rubbing over my bikini styled panties. I was a damp mess.
It wasn't my fault. Everyone knows that once you start touching a girls clit...it's Game over. We are like puddy and melt. You simply have zero-control over what happens next...like....there is no way you can just stop yourself and be accountable for your next actions taken.
It was like... having some sort of sleep paralysis, but with my best friend's boyfriends cock in my hand: I was aware of what was happening....but I couldn't control or get out of it. I felt like a prisoner; my hand trapped around the shaft of my best friend's boyfriend erect penis.
It's not like you can just stop your hand from grasping his penis, stop gripping the shaft and stroking up and down until he ejaculates. I was the literal definition of: possessed.
The whole time my best friend was sound asleep, totally unaware that my hand was stroking her boyfriends hard throbbing penis and that tomorrow she will have to do some unexpected laundry.
Why didn't he just say no? Why couldn't he stop my other hand from making his hand rub my vagina and press harder on the good spot; my magic bean?
This is now a reoccurring thing that happens when we all get drunk and I sleep over. It has happened like, five times now. It's like, we will all be sleeping and it just happens; hands will wander and then I can't stop my hand from jerking his hard penis until he splats.
I have gone to therapy and have even joined an addicts group called: Jobaholics Anonymous; a group for people who are addicted to pleasuring other people for their own selfish gains.
I want to quit my therapy: One, because it is really super expensive and I don't make a lot of money working at Starbucks. Two, my therapist gives horrible advice to me about all of this.
Get this, the other day when I started telling him about the midnight erotic hand crafting that was going on while my best friend was sleeping, he told me, "Well, you know you could've just stopped and moved your hand away from his penis, left, and slept on the living room couch."
Wow, like.... oh my God, who says that?!
Sleep on the couch?
Why should I have to go and suffer!
What a fucking, asshole, right?
Just "stop"! You know how hard that is to do! I am the victim here, buddy.
The good part is, though, last week I gave my therapist a handjob before I left. I don't know what came over me. It just happened, again. Like, when we both stood up to end the meeting, we were discussing fees and how It is difficult for me to pay the standard given my Starbucks salary.
I don't know what came over me, but I just felt this sudden urge to jerk him off until he ejaculated. Anytime somebody mentions money, paying bills, and responsibility it's like....my hand just wants to find the nearest dick to jerk off.
But the good news is, his stupid advice has stopped; my fee's for some reason have been cut in half!
I don't know if I will ever get better and cure my addiction. However, it seems that I am getting better at giving handjobs throughout these trying years. Who knows where this will take me.
Perhaps there is some sort of job or career I can do with all of this experience. We shall see, but for now....all I just really want to do is see if my best friend's boyfriend wants to hang out alone with me sometime.
I wonder if they will break up? I keep checking their Facebook status' almost everyday...maybe I could check with her (when she is done with him) if I can get her permission to date him.
I dunno, I wish my therapist or someone could tell me what I should do.
Life right now is harder than my best friend's boyfriend's dick.
C|Suite is a men's magazine founded by Frank Cervi. It combines urban/office life-style articles with soft-core pornographic pictorials. In recent years, C-Suite introduced the 'letters' column in which readers send in borderline ridiculous sexcapades, resulting often in explicit and unnecessary detail.
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