top of page

PunchRiot Magazine Publishes 'Suicide Suites'

The highly anticipated Issue #11 of PunchRiot Magazine has finally dropped, stuffed full, like a body bag of great reads.

My piece Suicide Suites drips heavily with satire, and takes aim at every Marxist, commie snapfuck out there in America.

It's quite hilarious, and hard hitting. A bold theme throughout the work shines brightly: If you hate America so much, stop complaining, and go kill yourself.

Suicide Suites offers a fictional glimpse into America, in transition toward a nightmarish dystopia. Rampant poverty is a scourge and must be eliminated from society.

"...available for as low as $49 per night...Perfect for the impoverished commie Marxist segment of society, the suicide suites offer an escape from the evils of Capitalist America..." -Suicide Suites

What better way is there to eliminate poverty than to offer hotel rooms, specifically designed for suicide? If you exterminate Leftist, Socialist morons, you thusly will eliminate poverty. A strong marketing campaign that targets this specific group of losers is the kicker, though.

With Capitalism there is a solution to every problem, especially if there is money to be made!

If you are a Leftist loser, engaged in life-long misery due to your ideology and parasitic mindset, there is still hope in becoming successful:

You could successfully kill yourself with the help of corporations and government policy initiatives...

Suicide Suites is a read for all, fun for the whole family, really.

If you are not a Leftist loser, you will take joy and pleasure via fantasizing all the various ways a Libtard could kill themselves in one of the suicide suites offered at America's Best Value Inn. The owner of the hotel chain walks you through the process and describes, in detail, many accommodations that the hotel provides in making that smooth transition from, "Leftist loser" to "Thanks, see you never again!".

If you are a Leftist loser and choose to read Suicide Suites, you will hopefully become aware that you can indeed kill yourself; death doesn't discriminate.


bottom of page