The Struggles Of A Zero-Fucks Given, Author: Low-T Traders, The STONKS & The Sexual Marketplace



A good portion of my day is spent watching my portfolio, having beers, writing when I want to; watching hilarity ensue on stock forums via all the noobie investors/traders that have flooded the market since last year.


Stocktwits, for the most part, is for fueling the hype train, posting dank memes and calling dudes pussies for selling and having paper-hands.


Don't get the wrong impression, though. There are a tremendous amount of well-informed, intelligent traders and investors who post quality info about companies; many will reveal their exceptional DD.


It's Twitter, but for stocks. It's real-time, put your finger on the pulse of the market type-of-shit. It's useful for the most part in getting a sense of the market zeitgeist, minute by minute.


However, there is always that odd time when someone takes things to a whole new level of absurdity, and adds free HQ entertainment to the trading day.


Yesterday, most of my portfolio was doing dick-all, except for MNMD (Mind Medicine Inc). The company had been added to the Russell 3000 and also to the new Psychedelic ETF that just launched in the U.S (PSYK-Horizons ETFs). Needless to say, this fired-up the Bulls and MNMD jumped 20% during intra-day trading and finished up around 19.25%.


This move, of course, caught a lot of people off-guard. Especially since it was a Monday.


Anyone who went *Short* into the weekend wanted to kill themselves, and anyone who held over the weekend or added on Friday, was cumming buckets.


Yours truly just sits back and watches the show, because as you should know by now, I had stuck my cock into this company when it was in the pennies (.57 cent handle). Bought it on the NEO Exchange (CAD), prior to NASDAQ up-list.


My status is HODL/HOLDING until this thing gets to its full potential. Between $40-50 a share is where I'd like to blow my load. At that target, with the amount of shares I own, I will clear around half-a-million dollars in profit.


Just like with other picks I have owned (*cough The Score Media & Gaming), this gem is a HODL. Getting in on the ground floor always takes tremendous balls. To make it in the stock market you have to do three things.


-Have Vision.

-Have Balls.

-Take Action.


Which brings us to our case study: Soy Investors/traders/noobies.


The stock market, and the laws/rules that govern this most complex of games, is really no different than what can be applied to the sexual marketplace.


If you hesitate, you masturbate.


Yesterday had to be one of the most entertaining days so far while watching the Stocktwit feed on one monitor, and Lethal Weapon on the other.


I am almost convinced that this dude was trolling, but honestly, there are actually people like this guy out there who get all emotional when dealing with the markets.


So, let's just say this guy wasn't a troll for arguments sake (most likely was, and it was hilarious if so) and this person is literally Hitler like this when he trades. Will use this anon as the poster-child of 'What Not To Do' when involving yourself in the world of stocks.


This guy, I shit you not, was posting all day long and whining about missing the run on MNMD. It was fucking hilarious to say the least...






As you can see, this bro wasted so much time complaining like a little pussy. Every minute that passed, and with every post he made, the stock was going up. LOL.


The THEN/NOW spread was hilarious on his timestamps.


Rule # 1: Like with dating/sexual marketplace, DO NOT get emotional in the stock market. This is where the Men play.


In the stock market, there is no crying. You are a man and you are responsible for your money and what you are willing to risk.

Every stock is a risk, just like with every chick you fuck. There is a reason why women aren't in this arena, because they would seriously cry if their stock went down a few coppers. They'd panic, like this little bitch above who couldn't STFU all day long about not getting in.


Instead of complaining, why not just buy a fucking small position to get rid of the FOMO and then add on the dips?


Also, if you are sweating over missing out on $400, you shouldn't be in the stock market. Try being down or out in the double K's (on paper) intra-day and not sweat a drop of bodily fluids.


Remember, you haven't lost anything until you hit that SELL button; you won't gain anything until you pull the trigger on that BUY button, either.


In all seriousness, if this guy truly isn't a troll and was really on suicide watch about missing out on making a whopping $400, all he had to do was just stick his cock half-way into it; take a half-position to get rid of that FOMO. Seriously, just dip your dick in a bit, get it wet with even a quarter position.


"I should've bought on Friday" is the same as "I should've hit the ASK for a blowjob at the party on Friday...and then put it in her on the following Monday (Day-bang)."


The guy was either trolling or on suicide watch.

Either way, fucking hilarious.


That pretty much sums up the stock market in this era of trading.


But yea, this is pretty much how my day goes.


Super-duper stressful as usual!