top of page

Gone Grid-Girl

It is a very sad and tragic day when Formula 1—most likely the entire racing world soon—is replacing grid-girls with young kids, who are aspiring to be racers, themselves. This is just a crying shame and the wrong move in this author’s, honest opinion.

The article comes from The Guardian:

F1’s American owners, Liberty Media, denounced the long-standing practice of using female models before grands prix as “at odds with modern-day societal norms”.

What they mean by, "at odds with modern-day societal norms" is that the world is full of fat and fugly women #thanksfeminism. They take offence to beauty and what people want to see. It's feminists trying to rid the world of hot women and watering down the fire so that they can compete for Chad. You can ban all the Grid Girls you want, still won't make Chad, or men in general, want to fuck your overweight, fugly ass. This is a horrible brand and business move on the behalf of F1, quite frankly.

Rule #1 in business: Know your brand and audience.

Who, by vast majority, goes to watch Formula 1? It's a rhetorical question....because the answer is too easy. All I can say is that this occasional viewer will not be watching anymore.

Apparently, they want to create an atmosphere that is, “relevant and interesting” to mainly the youngsters. Excuse me? What could possibly be more interesting, to a young boy and soon to be young man, than seeing some of the hottest women from around the world at the Grand Prix? I don’t care how “passionate” you are about watching a bunch of steel beasts chase time and each other around a track for hours on end—barring a few minor crashes—racing is boring.

I only watch NASCAR or F1 for the potential mayhem that could ensue; cars smashing into walls, twisted metal and flames everywhere. Hell, the pit-stops are probably the most interesting thing about racing. Other than that, Grid Girls serve more purpose than just being pretty faces; with huge supple sweater-puppies, come-fuck-me-figures, and asses so tight you could bounce a button off of.

Grid Girls, for eons, have started thousands, if not, the most important conversations a father could have with his young son; who is just learning about the wonderful world of women…and racing, of course. I am willing to bet that Grid Girls have inspired many first-boners among young lads and also, many questions to be answered.

Imagine, going to the track with your gambling addicted, alcoholic dad—him never paying attention to you, due to lack of common interests—and then, suddenly, there she is: A Grid girl. A rise in thy pants commences, a tingle in the groin, and your virgin dick seems like it is roaring like a thousand lions; or like the Honda engines on the track.

Behold, you and your dad now have something to talk about. For the first time in your dad’s life, he puts down the Busch; and gives you that all important talk about the birds and the bee’s; answers why you want to do nasty things to the grid girl whilst having bizarre hopes that the winner of the race accidentally spills the milk bottle all over her.

As you all know, I am a lover of women—just the hot ones (no fugglies, please). And this move by F1 racing, to me, is as stupid as watching car races themselves. For one, you are putting these women—who work hard on keeping a rock-hard, fuckable body—out of a job.

Shame on you.

If you were a true champion of women in the workplace, you wouldn’t be banning Grid Girls from the track and replacing them with kids. Kids live at home, they don’t need a job. Grid Girls need to pay the rent—and for their boob-jobs.

Now they're going to have to be cam-girls, or worse; work at Starbucks. Secondly, you will be letting young boys and men down, who come far and wide to these races; just to get a photo with these rare creatures of nature. You can’t find these types of chicks in the suburbs of Michigan or in the great mid-western plains of potato country. It’s either plain-Janes or dyed-haired, dyke-cutted feminists in the big cities; who can eat more Snickers bars than a pimpled faced teen on Halloween.

Today, its Formula 1, tomorrow it’s the NFL and so on and so forth. Where does this madness end?

In honor of the Grid Girl I will leave you with some pics in monumental fashion.

Lest We Forget.

My lord....oh lordy, lordy, lord. C-toe, for sho.

All the colors of the rainbow: Brunette, Red, Blonde.

Let's hope it rains....

Not sure if I want Monster Energy....or the one with the belly piercing....

bottom of page