Newly married teacher, Elizabeth Taylor, ‘found half-naked in SUV with teenage student’

Original story on

  • Elizabeth Heaton Taylor, a track coach and biology teacher at Greer High School in Greenville County, was arrested Thursday

  • 27-year-old was found partially dressed while in a car with a student, cops say

  • Deputies noticed the car parked suspiciously on a road in South Carolina

  • Taylor also gave a false name to deputies during the investigation, according to authorities

  • Taylor got married this past July to Alex Taylor, whom she first met in middle school

A married high school teacher was found partially undressed with a student in a car in South Carolina Thursday evening, sheriff’s deputies say.

Elizabeth Heaton Taylor, 27, a track coach and biology teacher at Greer High School in Greenville County, faces charges of sexual battery of a minor between the ages of 16 and 17, according to WYFF-TV.

Taylor also gave a false name to deputies during the investigation, according to authorities.

She faces a charge of giving false information to police.

The Greenville County Sheriff’s Office said deputies found the teacher and student inside an SUV parked suspiciously on a road in the town of Simpsonville at around 6.30pm on Thursday.

She graduated high school in 2009.She went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in biology in 2012 and a master’s degree in secondary science education in 2015 from the University of South Carolina.

Taylor got married this past July to Alexander Taylor in late 2017

Her husband also completed his studies at the University of South Carolina, where he earned a bachelor's degree in public health.

Alex Taylor currently works as a health, safety, and environment specialist at Bosch USA, an appliance manufacturer, according to his LinkedIn account.

The couple, who have known each other since middle school and reconnected in college, went on a honeymoon to Jamaica after their wedding.

It is not known if they have children.

Investigators said that Taylor and the student engaged in sexual activity on at least two separate occasions since January 1.

Taylor is being held on $10,250 bond.

We finally have our first copycat, female teacher sex-scandal. It is always nice to see aspiring female teacher's learning from their peers and doing their homework; on how best to go about getting their tingles fulfilled. This story popped out to me (much like our victim did whilst underneath our gurl lizzy in the Ford Explorer) because it is very similar to one of last years scandals that involved, Katie Carsey;who was also caught half-naked in her vehicle, and lied to police about her intentions on the premise.

At least Carsey tried to be more discreet than our gurl Elizabeth. Carsey and her teen lover parked in a secluded church parking lot; where only God could witness two lovers going at it in fevered frenzy. Elizabeth chose to park 'suspiciously' on the road. If you have ever played Grand Theft Auto you would know a thing or two about picking up a sex prospect; you always take your target behind the alleyway of a Cluck'n Bell or an abandoned lot for the planned romp to ensue. Clearly, our gurl has never played the GTA series; she could have benefited, greatly.

Again, guys, why do you marry these modern whores? Elizabeth just, just got married to her husband back in July 2017. It hasn't even been the 1 year itch and she already went full hypergamous whore on him! However, instead of Chad at the tavern (or 'Cocky' the school mascot) she probably went for the current high-school Chad; the quarterback. I could be totally wrong though. She may have been banging Cocky in the Explorer. What makes me suspicious that our 'victim' may be her high-school's Chad? Well, look no further than what our gurl states as her 'hobbies': Hiking, shopping, and South Carolina football games.

Pro tip: When a woman lists 'watching football games' as a "hobby" you know she's a bonafide, all-time, slut. Women don't understand the games men play, all they go to the games for is to fantasize about being Chad the quarterbacks wife, or slam-piece. Maybe he will notice her in the stands, and ask her to come check out the dressing room after the game? Maybe they fuck, maybe they don't. Maybe he tells her to call him. Maybe he takes her on a round-the-world, fuckcation. These are the things women think about at the game: A lot of 'maybes'. However, women love the prospect of 'maybe' because that is what get's their hamster wheel spinning and the peach, to ripen.

What happened here is that your classic former American party-gurl got married to Chester the Poindexter for his money; then wanted to also, get fucked by Chad or Tyrone on the side. 'Shopping' is a hobby for our gurl because guess who probably pays for all the shoes, Jamba Juice, and credit card bills? Exactly, poindexter. If you read their story, it's plain to see that our gurl understood she was hitting the Wall soon and needed her back-up and fail safe, marriage option. When a girl you knew back in middle-school all of a sudden 're-connects' with you out of nowhere after college, it's a red flag; especially if you two weren't fucking before. Looking at this dude, I HIGHLY doubt they fucked back in middle-school.

The Report Card

Methodology: I can understand that when you're horny and want a quickie, the back-seat of a Ford Explorer is extremely, ideal. They are spacious; why do you think the cops use them as their supervisor cruiser? However, our gurl was a little too eager to get her freak on with her student, and most likely forgot to put the 4-ways on. Life is funny: One minute you're stick-shifting your male student and putting miles on your odometer; the next you're in different Ford Explorer; one that says Sheriff's Department on it.


Integrity: Lying to the police by giving a fake name was a nice touch; on top of a broken marriage after 7 LONG months of monogamy. It just shows me that our gurl had her heart in this one. She really wanted to have her cake and eat it too. Such passion these days for the sex scandal. Imagine if she showed that much effort during her long and tiring marriage.


Presentation/looks: Women always look different without the painted mask on. She kinda looks like Elaine Hendrix from The Parent Trap when she wants to.


Overall Grade


Case Closed

#MeToo #Humor #Satire #Culture #TeachersWorthyofaD


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