Married Florida Christian Teacher, Suzanne Lea Owen, Arrested for a 'one-time tryst' With Student

Original story at DailyMail

A teacher at a Christian high school in Florida was arrested for allegedly engaging in an inappropriate relationship with a student.

Suzanne Lea Owens, who has now been fired from her role at the private Evangelical Christian School in Fort Myers, is accused of having sex with one of her male students in early April.

The Lee County Sheriff's Office said Owens had sex with the unidentified student once and the incident happened off-campus.

An investigation also uncovered text messages the 35-year-old married educator had sent the student in the weeks leading up to their sexual encounter, according to a press release.

Owens was arrested Wednesday and has been charged with custodial sexual battery on a victim between 12 and 18 years old, a first-degree felony.

The headmaster of Evangelical Christian School released a statement to students and parents asking for prayers for 'all the families involved'.

'We are deeply saddened and express sincere sympathy to any and all victims of sexual assault,' John Hunte said, according to the News-Press.

According to NBC2, Owens was a finalist for the Golden Halo teacher award, which is given for excellence in the classroom. She was fired from her job on Wednesday.

As of Thursday she remains in jail. Upon her release, she will have to wear a GPS monitor and is barred from having any contact with minors.

Another day, another female teacher throws her career and life away for forbidden dick.

We of course are brought back to the great female teacher sex scandal state of Florida; more specifically Fort Myers—I know the area all too well. If you are unfamiliar with the history of FTSS, Florida—close second is Texas—is one of the great teacher sex states and has a long, ripe history of female teachers romping with their students. In Florida, your female teacher will pretty much give you a hand-job along with your certificate at graduation; maybe even bang you back stage after you wave to your parents.

With that said, our gurl Suzanne Owen is a holy roller as it seems; and instead of rubbing the rosary beads at night she decided to rub a student’s balls; while getting salvation sprayed up and down her legs, back and thighs. A married mother of three— now most likely going to be a divorced mom; jobless, career-less and dong-less.

When we see stories and scandals like our gurl’s I, for some reason, always get the song “Throwing It All Away” by the great Phil Collins stuck in my head; all the while writing and grading these lunatic teachers.

It’s gotta be tough these days, being these married teachers. You not only have to compete with your young former self (all the hot high school biddies) you now have to compete with other female teachers who are banging their students. How is a gurl supposed to do it all?

The Report Card

Methodology: Throwing your kids, the Golden Halo Teacher award, husband and career away from a one-time bang off campus definitely qualifies our gurl as a certified idiot; who has panache. The problem here though is the dedication. It almost seems as if our gurl just did it to get into the FTSS club, to be apart of the group along with all the other lunatics. One time? If you are going to throw everything away at least be professional about it and dedicate yourself to the mission. That is my issue with Suzanne Owen. Maybe 5-10 years ago, sending some texts and banging your student...once...would have be the talk de jure all over the media. However, today with all the scandals that have happened and continue to sprout up almost daily, you gotta do better than this to be considered a true great.


Integrity: This one definitely checks off all the boxes; married, mother, cucked husband with teen AND is a holy rolling, church thumper.


Presentation/looks: Our gurl is 35, has squeezed out 3 crumb-crunchers from her slosh pocket and still looks pretty good. Not hard to see why our victim went for it. The Harry Potter T-shirt says it all really. Every 'grown' chick I've known who is/was into HP was crazy....and a freak in the bed. No doubt Owen performed some magic tricks on our victims wand. Alohomora to open his fly, and then Acuamenti!


Overall Grade


Case Closed

#MeToo #TeachersWorthyofaD #Humor #Satire


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