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The Three C's Of Combat For Women Joining The New Age Military

Last week gave everyone quite the little scare. College students were freaking out about some fine-print with regards to FAFSA: Taking out federal student loans and an attached clause which they[students] thought would order them to serve in the armed forces in the event of a draft!

Good thing these smart and educated college kids were wrong and blew things out of proportion because the military doesn't need morons. Although, if there is a huge war, we should force college students to the front-line. That way we can weed-out these morons from the gene pool.

Of course college students freaked out because they know they have no skills that would be useful in defeating an enemy. The most they could do is use their worthless degree to give some serious and possibly lethal paper-cuts to an attacker.

More interestingly, women and all the #antiwar faggots came out of their closets on Twitter. For once, since the Bush wars, these pent-up people could masturbate their feelings out in front of everyone, and cum.

For once more in their pathetic lives, they could tell the world how they feel about war and how they hate it. They could rub one out to Twitter and Facebook and cum.

How relieving it must be to cum again after all of these years without a Republican President defending your freedom and trying to mitigate an enemy from killing Americans. Just ignore the fact that the countries bombed during the Obama Presidency goes as follows: Libya, Syria, Iraq, Yemen, Afghanistan, Somalia and Pakistan.

But just ignore that fact you #antiwar, libtards. Just keep cumming and claiming to take the moral high ground. We all know how much you fucking pieces-of-shit need to tell everyone how much you made yourself cum by claiming virtue! Just keep rubbing-one out to yourself. Then, go ahead and kill yourself.

Everyone is so proud of all you #antiwar faggots, that you could cum again and get the relief you needed!

They[pussies] hate war because most of them would not want to serve or fight for their right to even emotionally masturbate on Facebook and Twitter in front of people, and cum.

Most of these #antiwar heroes were women, of course.

Women hate war because they know, deep down inside, a world war or a major one involving their country would be disastrous.....for them as 'independent' women. 'Independent women' who don't need no man, except for the government (male tax-payer dollars).

The reason being is because war, effectively, puts everyone back into their respective places.

If the lights went out tomorrow, women would be back in the kitchen and sucking a man's cock for food and shelter instead of just for fun and an ego boost. Feminism would collapse overnight if the lights went out because it would be exposed as the fraud it is.

Empathizing with the modern woman and how oppressed they are with now caging themselves to the 9-5 rat race, student loan debts and a life of sterility and infertility, I have come up with a way that women can achieve true equality with men: By serving side-by-side with them in the military and armed combat forces.

By serving side-by-side with men, this would surely make women today feel empowered and equal to their superiors, yes.

With that said, the only way we can rationally comprehend such a scenario to a reasonable coalition of the genders(there are only two genders), I have come up with the only possible, rational and logical roles that women could play whilst serving side-by-side with men in the armed forces.

Those three ‘combat’ roles would go as follows: Cooking, Cleaning & Cock-sucking.

The Three C’s of combat, for women.

Requirements for females entering the armed forces will be a test of fitness and beauty. If said female recruit is not up to the standards-of-beauty, a rigorous fitness and beauty training program will have to be completed before moving on to the cooking, cleaning and cock-sucking basic training course: How To Be A Real Woman 101.


Cooking Brigades

Of the Three C’s, this combat role will be the most difficult for our new recruits since the modern female has not a clue about homemade meals from scratch or what a colander is.

Since the modern female can only list off food apps and microwave dinner brands, the basic training for this role will be intense, rigorous and long—Just like their masturbation sessions with an A-class, dildo.

Women joining the armed forces will have to endure a 2-week program that will teach and educate said recruit on all spices, rub techniques, the difference between a Tsp and Tbsp, skillets, pots, pans and other cooking tools. These women will also be allowed to pick out a week’s wardrobe which will all be combat issued tight skirts, tight pants and tight tops.

All clothing material will be camouflaged in the correct patterns and color schemes according to which theater of war they will be entering.

Skirts shall be no longer than mid-thigh; tops shall show cleavage at all times of day and night. Pants must be tight enough as to show camel-toe; mound and ass formation lines. If dress code is not up to snuff, you will receive a Court martial and a punishment involving some light, spanking.

Following the 2-week training on cooking and baking tools/skills, there will be a month long program in which women will undergo live-fire drills whilst trying to cook. These live-fire drills will involve live mortar rounds that will hit a fair distance away from the base or FOB, but will simulate real combat conditions in which you will have to maintain a steady meal flow to hungry male soldiers.

These scenarios will also consist of live AK-47 fire and or M4A1 rounds passing overhead when cooking/BBQ’ing outside in the FOB. Female soldiers will need to get comfortable with the sound of a M249 light machine gun spraying 725 rounds per minute, with a sustain rate-of-fire of 50 RPM while preparing a delicious roast for her fellow troops.

Scenarios involving the deployment of mustard gas or CS gas in and around the base will also transpire to allow women to experience all the horrors of trying to prepare a meal under pressure of man-made evils. Gas masks will be a part of your basic cooking gear. Said gas masks will also come in handy for the female troop if/when she burns the roast as to prevent smoke inhalation.

Women will be trained to fix their gas masks at a moment’s notice with one hand, while maintaining a steady stir-of-the-pot with the other while also making flirty eye-contact with their superiors.

Remember, looking pretty, sexy and hot is only half the battle.

The Cleaning Division

On par with cooking training, the new female recruit will need an extensive, grueling education course on the very basics in the art of the clean. Women will be trained by experienced personnel on what a broom is; how to use it.

We will teach them the proper sweeping techniques required to push all forms of clutter, dirt and human waste. Women will also learn what a mop and bucket are used for and also how to clean-up spills involving oily, greasy textures.

The most common mess or spill women in a combat scenario will have to deal with is: The spillage of male semen on a floor's surface or her own body.

These cleaning training programs will, like any other, be conducted at times during a live-fire exercise to ensure the women can handle the stress of a real-life, combat situation. Women will also have to endure male superiors yelling at them and showing them how they, “Missed a spot, over there” over and over to the point of causing hysteria, a loss of dignity, meaning in life and more importantly, a sense of self.

Yes, women will be reduced to nothing, broken down to a morsel of what could be considered a person, to then be built back-up again into a woman that a man could be around for more than 5-minutes.

You will become better, that is a guarantee.

The Cock-Sucking Units (Female Medics)

Like a medic, women who will serve in the special cock-sucking forces will be thrown right into active service, immediately.

This combat role requires no training in techniques and or methods in the sucking of cock, at all. For a modern woman looking to be all that she can be, she will need no further instruction on cock-sucking because, well, modern women already know the art of sucking cock.

It is a basic, intrinsic female instinct.

However, there will be some training scenarios that will be required in order to get these women combat-ready, to cock-suck under pressure and stress in their new environments.

For instance, female soldiers will partake in a Flash & Bang scenario: Female soldiers will hone their cock-sucking skills by attempting to continuously suck a cock without breaking eye-contact of the male soldier in need or suction whist under duress. Flash bangs will be tossed into the area/room in order to simulate a room-clearing, CQB environment by the enemy. The goal is to perform the required services without breaking down, getting distracted and panicking to the point of dereliction of duty.

In war and in battle, a soldier needs to perform his or her duties while under the most extremes of stress and environmental factors.

Female cock-suckers (medics) will be armed and equipped with the following tools and equipment in the field of operations: lip-stick, Kleenex tissues, Lotion, and Listerine.

Unlike the competent male medics who will be in charge of dressing wounds, minor surgery, stitching, stretcher bearing, inducing pain-killers, the female medic will aid soldiers in their desperate need of some TLC, on and off the field of combat. To check if your fellow soldier needs his balls drained do the following:

  • Slip a hand underneath his standard issue, combat pants.

  • Check heart rate/pulse.

  • Wait patiently to see if his cock gets hard; feel his balls for swoleness.

  • Ask if he needs to cum.

  • Check his orgasm records to see when his last bust was; proceed accordingly.

If a soldier is incapacitated due to combat injuries, a female medic should tend to this soldiers cock at the minimum, 3-5 times a week to ensure optimal satisfaction.

**Make sure to keep accurate records of cocks sucked, attention to detail is important. Keep detailed journal entries of each event in the writing-style of Penthouse letters so as to mail them home for all your girlfriends to read involving your 'adventures'.


This is such a distinguished and important role. Your mission and duty is, indispensable.

Before shipping out to an active conflict zone, female medics will undergo a few training programs that will ensure them to be ready for the horrors of war versus a life of comfort back home.

This is in order to transition them from what they know to be good, clean, cock-sucking back home and what that service is going to look like in an active combat role in a war-torn country.

One mock-combat scenario will involve a standard, Seek & Suck mission: Female soldiers will form into squads of five and be deployed into the wilderness, simulating a rescue scenario involving downed male pilots in an undisclosed, unknown location. The mission is to find the downed pilot(s) behind enemy lines whom have theoretically spent days, if not weeks without a proper release; their balls will be full and need to be drained to remain combat-effective in the field.

You will be trained to seek and suck whatever the cost. Turning your back on your fellow soldier is not an option; facing him and turning your tongue around his swollen, needy cock, is. Cowardice will not go unpunished!

You will tend to a soldier’s ‘needs’ at the cost of your own. If you lose a leg; crawl to him. If you lose both arms; roll to him— Even if his location is still miles away. You will, suck that soldiers cock and revive his spirits!


“The one with the cock gets sucked. When the one with the cock dies, another cock shall take his place and thus, get sucked. The one who is female, sucks. When the female dies, another one without a cock in her hand will pick up the cock and suck.”

-Some WWII Russian Sergeant at the battle of Stalingrad (Probably)


On base or at a FOB, every female soldier will be assigned a partner (male solider). Said female soldier will be responsible for filling his stomach with hot meals; draining his balls of hot seed.

If that male soldier should perish in the heat of battle, another one will replace him. The same goes for the female.

There you have it: A brief outline as to what ‘serving’ in the armed forces should be like for women looking to become ‘equal’ and thus serve side-by-side with their male counterparts.

The armed forces is all about utilizing resources (people) to the best of their ability: Ensuring that everyone, big or small, has a role that will contribute to the whole.

More importantly, it is about finding the roles most suitable for that individual.

For women today, the Three C’s of combat is the only rational and logical conclusion to what fit would be best for her regarding skill-set, strength and competence.

Be proud. Be brave. Be one.

Women will not be regulated to just one role. Although, she will have a choice if she would rather just stick with one. Doing the bare minimum, though, is not empowering. Its doing the bare minimum.

To be like a man you must go for greatness and be all that you can be!

However, women who demonstrate competence in all three of these major combat roles will likely 'pull-rank' a lot faster. Lord knows, a woman who can cook, clean and suck dick is much needed back at home and on the front-line.

Just think: One day you are a Private, sucking cock; the next you are a Major, cock-sucker.

Be all that you are. Be all that you can be.

We salute you.

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