Sugar Baby PSA

Yesterday, on Twitter, I came across one of the saddest cries for help I have ever seen: A desperate modern 'independent' woman in need of attention and cash.

Like the bloated bellies in Africa, these Western women need your help! These 'independent' women are starving.....starving for money and attention that they now have to resort to asking for Sugar Daddy applicants.

I is madness!

These women are suffering so greatly that they have forgotten Business 101: If you are selling a product or want to be used (i.e you are asking for employment) it works the OTHER way around. You have to be sending out are not the employer in this situation.

But, like I have always said....women suck at business.

I want you to take a look below now at poor, little Ash (aka ruinkissy).

Try to hold back your tears....

Ash is probably the tender age of 24 and she has already given up on life and achieving true equality with her male counterparts.

She is so young, so frail seems she hasn't been fed in days...

So desperate, Ash looks to be living out of her bathroom...

She has suffered greatly in her short years here on earth: Has had money thrown at her by Daddy (so patronizing...i know) and has had to graze and drift around the West on nothing but Avocado toast, Starbucks lattes, and the blue light emanating from here expensive iPhone.

Ash is now resorting to the highest form of female empowerment: Prostitution.

Her situation is clearly, dire.

Here life from here on out until around 40, will be excruciating: A woman...sucking and fucking her way to a paycheck. Women in the West cannot afford to work like men because they are lazy and lack the instead, women like little Ash here have to find other ways of showing how 'brave' and 'powerful' they are; surviving.

A national issue, women are still not allowed to be men because of the patriarchy. They can't work, apparently, or earn a living the way a man can: By showing up, being on-time and doing the job as told in the description.

Women in the West are suffering and they need your help.

For just $200-500 a day, you can save a girl like Ash from a life of hard work, responsibility, toil, loyalty, honor and virtue. When you sponsor this young woman, you might not be getting your blowjobs up front, but you will most certainly have the thought of knowing you did something good this holiday season.

For just the price of 100 Starbucks lattes a day, you can have comfort in knowing you have saved a life from being an actual adult, an equal and an all around good person.

Please, whip out your credit card and penis to fund this poor soul's journey into modern prostitution.

If you call now, with your credit card and penis in hand, you will be saving little Ash here from her shitty suburban situation and a life that had already been front-loaded to her by her father and greater society.

If you don't call now and save little Ash from a life of accountability and integrity, she is going to have to go back to a life... of even more legal prostitution: Advertising her tits and ass on Instagram for: 'likes', DM's, dinner-dates, concert tickets, free vacations, rent money, wired money, attention, and lots more.

This is unacceptable in today's gynocracy....

A young woman, in need of a man to suck on for money is her only hope for survival in this dark and cruel world.

If you don't call, right now, poor little Ash will have to actually go back out there and live a life of harsh dating and attention-whoring like many, many other women her age.

*cue In the Arms of an Angel by Sarah McLachlan

Imagine that you are poor little Ash: Horny and hungry; starving for attention and a free ride out in the cold winter's night in downtown Boston. You are lonely and in need of a normal man to fund your lifestyle; a boyfriend or guy on the hook. It's late and you are in your apartment; it's too warm from the natural gas that is heating up the you run to the bedroom to find your warm tiger-skinned blanket.

It's late and you are on Tinder, trying desperately to find a hook-up or a free meal because you haven't had a free meal since yesterday (x2). Imagine, being horny and hungry at the same time....looking for a good dick & dinner, all in one go. Many like Ash struggle day-to-day; in search of more cock to suck on from money and food.

Then, suddenly, you get a match and your 'mark' (named Chad) is on his way to your apartment.

Tragedy strikes you; you find out that Chad wants to fuck first before he takes you out for a free dinner and cab fare. You then have to preform a 'service' for Chad that will require the expenditures of many calories (all but maybe 20-50): A blowjob.

It's dark, it's still warm in your bedroom... but cold outside, your hungry and horny and have nowhere to turn...but towards Chad and his pants. Slowly, you go up to him and carefully unbutton his jeans.

One by one, the buttons seem to take forever. You are so horny...dripping from your pussy. Now you are wet and feel aroused...yet slightly uncomfortable in your damp you have to slip them off, after pulling down your $100 yoga pants you bought online with your Dad's credit card.

You bend down to your knees and preform a mini-squat for him. Your butt muscles are hurting by now. Then, you slowly pull down his pants....exposing his briefs to which house his balls and cock that you will have to soon suck and touch.

Carefully, you open his fly....his dick flops out at your face. Chad has his hand on your head, maneuvering it toward his penis. You then have to grab it...fully erect and tilt your head upward; slowly putting it in your salivating mouth.

First the tip, then some of the shaft. You then have to gaze up toward him, stroking and sucking...back and forth, back and forth. This could take minutes or maybe more. Rubbing his balls and stroking his shaft, the friction you are causing is making him moan; his penis expanding every so slowly. Suddenly, all of that tiring work, the hard minutes put into this 'job' is about to pay off.

Chad's dick explodes into your mouth and drips down your chin. A white slimy goo spurts out and blankets the rest of your face and chest like a toaster's all over....but not really.

You then have to walk to a cab, drive to a fancy location to have dinner with the man you just gave head to; talk for an hour, eat and then get a ride home in a cab free of charge. Take a shower, wipe the rest of the cum you missed from before you left for dinner, and then go to sleep. A belly and mouth full.

This is the horror that girls like Ash have to live every, single, day of their life until maybe 40-45.

It is a national epidemic.

A woman cannot survive on semen from blowjobs, attention and Instagram 'likes'. She needs more....she needs a Sugar Daddy and a better life. She needs to be payed an extreme amount of money for services that are clearly so valuable.

So skilled, Ash can preform blowjobs, handjobs, and use her vagina like many of her kind. It's just that Ash believes she is work more than a dinner date at Burger King. Won't you provide that 'more' for Ash; a girl who is so common that it is hurting her inside...

So, please...if you are going to buy anything this holiday season....purchase Ash's tits, ass and vagina and provide her the Pretty in Pink lifestyle that she has always wanted.

Help save a 'brave', 'strong' and fiercely 'independent' woman, today....

#Thots #BasicBitch #Culture #Dating #Satire #Humor


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